I'mmmm Baaaaccckk!
by MrWriterWriter
Summary: Harry returns to his youth to repair his life and get revenge on those who used him. H/Harem. Weasley minus the twins and Dumbledore bashing. Confident, Independant, strong, attitude-laden Harry.
1. Chapter 1

Hello, boys 'n' girls. I know most you are probably gonna think I'm nuts for doing a Harry Potter fic, but I couldn't resist.

Note: This is gonna be somewhat of a Harry/Harem with a fair bif of bashing and a 'don't eff with me' harry. Cliche' I know, but just work with me. My muse is going nuts.

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Prolouge:

Neville Longbottom sighed as he thumbed through an old tome of spells, mumbling to himself at each page. He would have ran a hand through his hair in exasperation at that moment...That is..if he still had hair.

Close to fifty years had passed since he graduated from Hogwarts and the now seventy year old ex-Gryffindor was feeling his age. Even though he had gotten a bit taller, he still retained his somewhat pudgy appearance to go with the wrinkles he had acquired over time, but now he carried the air of a confident wizard. However, all that was a moot point as he turned to face another man joining him in the main hall of Longbottom Manor.

"Are you sure you want to go through with this? One miscalculation and you'll go up like a party popper." He said, taking the pouch he was handed. While Neville was more than able to hold his own in a fight; his guest was just plain intimidating even to him. At 6'7" he easily stood over the aging wizard. Once black hair was now a mix of grey and white as well as the long goatee he sported. His emotionless face was betrayed by the hints of lingering rage and sorrow that still clung to his piercing green eyes.

His name: Harry James Potter; former hogwarts golden boy of Gryffindor, 'boy-who-lived' and chosen one. Although if anyone asked, he'd state that he hated the nicknames with a passion. Once a boy who thought the people around him were actually his friends and cared about him

Of course, all that was gone now. Replaced by a man who learned too late that he had been played like a harp for nearly half his life.

"It's my only choice, Nev.." Harry responded, "Those bastards meddled with my life as if it was their god-given right."

Neville sighed again. In all honesty, he couldn't blame the man. It wasn't until after Voldermort's final defeat, but it was still unforgivable in his eyes.

Ginny Weasly, a girl he thought he was love with..until Luna Lovegood caught her pouring a love potion into his drink. After a few well-placed threats and hexes, the redhead admitted she had begun using it during his sixth year...he was her reward for the family taking him in. He learned the hard way she was only interested in 'The Boy Who Lived', not Harry.

Ron Weasly: a guy he considered a brother...paid to be his friend. It would've been one thing if it was just money, but he, like Ginny, had been using a love potion...on Hermione Granger. However, by the time he had found out, the stupid sod had started mixing it with a loyalty potion. The combination stripped her of her free will, in effect turning the poor girl into little more than a toy for his amusement.

And the rest of the clan (with the twins being the only exception), paid as well with cash from his own vault..paid by the one person he trusted above all else...

Albus Dumbledore..the mere mention of the man's name sent his blood to boiling, the bastard had planned out the whole thing: leaving him with the Dursleys to 'resue' him from them every year to keep his trust, using each year..the Philosopher's Stone, the Chamber of Secrets, Even the Tri-Wizard Tournament the 'train' him as a weapon for the 'light'. It took all Harry had to keep his anger to just swearing after he learned the old man was using HIS family vault to fund the Order and to pay for the potions Ron and Ginny had used as well as bribing the Dursleys to be extra sour towards him so he'd be grateful to the man every time he left Privet Drive for Hogwarts.

"It's taken me nearly all my life to research and prepare this spell, Nev, But now, it's finally ready." Harry breathed a sigh of relief as Neville took some candles out of the bag along with a few bottles full of a thick indigo liquid, "The old goat probably didn't expect me to ever find out about the Temporal Gate. I plan to make sure Dumbledore never gets his chance to start screwing around with me."

"I just hope you did it right, mate. This spell takes EXACT preperation to work. The runes have to be written in the exact order and proper ink, the candles have to be the correct dimensions and the proper wax..." Neville began to fret. Over the years, Harry had become more or less like a sibling to him. He started to go on again until Harry stopped him.

"Neville, calm down. Half a century studying one spell is more than enough time" The bald wizard watched as Harry used his wand like a paintbrush and spent several hours drawing a circle on the floor with the liquid, filling it with complex runes and symbols. Meanwhile Neville set up a dozen orange and yellow candles around the circle. As soon as everything was ready, Harry looked at his handiwork, "Well...I guess it's now or never."

"Harry..? Good luck, mate." Neville said, hugging the man he called his brother.

"Thanks, Neville." Harry took a deep breath before standing in the middle of the circle while Neville lit the candles.

The aging wizard let his body relax and started the incantation:

_'Lords of time, open your gate,_

_hear my cry, let me undo my fate!'_

The candlelight grew brighter; he repeated it again in Latin.

The runes began to glow.

He repeated it again and again, in Greek, Celtic, Russian and Japanese. Each time the lights and runes grew brighter and brighter until he was encased in a column of bright blue light.

"TEMPORA EX CHRONOS!" With those words the light exploded in a blinding flash, forcing Neville to shield his eyes until it dissapated.

When it did, Neville fought back a tear as he saw that the only thing remaining in the circle was a pile of clothes, "Bye, Harry..."

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**Number 4 Privit Drive, 70 years earlier:**

Dumbledore grinned smugly to himself as he set the bundle on the Dursly's doorstep, this was the perfect environment to ensure his weapon grew the proper way, "Can't have you become unmoldable now, can we?" However had he bothered to pay attention he would have noticed the baby of James and Lily potter glaring daggers at him from inside the blankets.

_"I won't be TOO confident if I were you, you senile old coot."_The waif thought to himself before stealing glance at McGonagall and the still sobbing Hagrid, _"You guys better hold onto your hats, 'cause Harry Potter is baaaaackkk!"_

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I know this story isn't exactly the most original, but it should provide a good read.

In this story, Harry's gonna be the kinda kid who'll beat the hell outta you if you cross him.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok it's gonna be a couple of chapters until he gets back to Hogwarts, So I'm open for suggestions on which house to put him in: griff so he can start helping Neville and join the Twns in random acts of mayhem, slythren to simply piss off dumbles and drive the house batty, or huffle/raven for reasons of your recommendation. Also, I'll be waiting untill the third year before he starts in the dating scene, but I will be accepting suggestions as to who should be in it and if Neville should get a girl.

Note: Harry still has his memories and knowledge for his first 70 years, so he'll have some firepower and not be afraid to use it.

**Alorkin: **Point taken. I may've picked too big a number. But, in my defense: anything is possible in fiction.

Speech

_Thought/Parsal_

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Chapter 1.

"Wake up, boy!" Petunia hollered as he banged on the cupboard door, "Get dressed and start making breakfast!"

"I'm up, I'm up. _Can she get any louder??" _Harry said, waking up from his cot under the stairs. Six years had passed since the Dursleys found him on their step and just as he remembered, they were doing what the could to try and make him miserable. Fortunately, this time all it really did was annoy him. He got dressed, this time actually grateful that they made him wear the lump's baggy old clothes.

Ever since he got back to walking, he had made it a priority to strengthen his body by excercising when he had the chance. The chores he was given, actually helped now that he thought about it, since they got him to work up a sweat, especially outdoors. He knew it would take a few years to get any real results, but that was something he could wait on. For now, he'd wait until he got his chance to take his leave. After that he'd start working towards undoing the malnutrition his body was dealing with.

The moment he entered the kitchen, a large stack of gift-wrapped packages on the table caught his attention, "Hm, Dudley's birthday again." He muttered to himself before heading to the stove. It wasn't long before the 'birthday boy' and Vernon came thundering down the stairs.

"Hey, Freak! It's my birthday!" Dudley called out and what he figured was a taunting way, thinking he was rubbing it in that he always got a considerable larger present count than his cousin. Harry simply rolled his eyes and ignored him. As far as he was concerned, it just meant he would be spending a somewhat dull day with Mrs. Figg while the Dursley's went out to celebrate.

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"You know you're a lucky fuzzball not to be living where I am right now." Harry told one of her cats as he scratched it's head, ignoring the cabbage odor that permeated the woman's house, "At least it won't last much longer."

It was June so he decided to wait until school began. He would be starting 1st grade again and Dudley and his gang were going to be his first victims. He resumed stroking the cat, grinning to himself; that day would mark his freedom and start his path towards vengeance.

After Dudley's birthday, Summer became rather uneventfull; unless you count Vernon having to go to the hospital after tripping on the living room rug, breaking his nose and three teeth in the process. He and Petunia tried their hardest to blame him for it, but that came crashing down when Harry pointed out he was mowing the grass at the time and stated he had seen Dudley stumble on it as well.

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Soon the day arrived; Petunia, as usual began fussing over her her little 'Dudders' while Vernon read Harry the riot act.

"Now you listen here, boy. We're being generous just letting the likes of you out in public, so if you know what's good for you..."

After that, Harry tuned him out, hiding it with the occasional nod and 'yes, sir.' _"Blimey! Ever heard of flossing, Shamu?_ _I think I just saw a piece of Dudley's last birthday cake wedged between your bicuspids!"_

"...Do I make myself clear, you little abomination?!"

"Crystal, Sir." Harry said after realizing he was finally finished. The two were soon on the bus and off to school. Harry quickly grabbed a back seat while Dudley met up with his friend/cronie Piers Polkiss and instantly began picking on a girl in the seat ahead of them. Harry scowled but stayed put. That simply added another reason to do it.

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Judging from the way the teacher kept giving him shifty looks during the first couple of classes, Harry could only assume that Petunia had called ahead and convinced them he was a troublemaker. "_Not surprising' _He said to himself as they started on reading. A quick look at the clock told him recess should be after the next lesson if his memory was accurate. _"They'll probably come at me right off the bat." _He inwardly shrugged,_ "Saves me the trouble of finding them."_

Sure enough, as soon as he stepped foot on the school playground, he was shoved from behind.

"No freaks allowed out here, freak!" Dudley sneered.

_"Let the fun begin!" _Harry grinned, "'If you're going to insult me, Blubberbutt, at least try something original."

The remark caught the boy off guard. He was expecting Harry to be scared and try to get away, not this. It took Dudly a second for it to sink in before realizing he had just been called a name by the freak, "I'm gonna tell Dad what you said!" He yelled, moving forward to hit him.

What Dudley Dursley didn't know, however, was that he was trying to bully somebody who was once an elderly, and surprisingly tough, wizard. One aspect of the Temporal Gate was that instead of actually sending a person back to another time period, it regressed the person's age and physical time. The reason it required such precise and accurate preparation was that if done correct, physical age is all the gate would reverse. Intelligence, memories, knowledge, and personality were left unaltered. To put it bluntly, Harry had around half a century of know-how over Dudley. And he had an equally old axe to grind.

"Tut-tut, 'Duddums', can't be having that now, can we?" Harry said, nonchalantly raising his hand and catching the boy's fist, "You're not gonna be bullying anyone today."

You could almost hear the gears screaming to a half in the boy's mind. For the first time in Dudley's short life, he was dumbstruck; someone was actually denying him something! Given the way he was raised, this was completely unacceptable in the eyes of the young Dursley. He yanked his hand away and tried to swing again

The smirk on Harry's face widened. In order to the create the gate, he was forced to do a little globetrotting and piece together what he could learn. Thankfully his travels let him learn a few other things as well. He demonstrated one by jerking his head to the side, avoiding his cousin's fist and letting it slide over his shoulder. Before he could pull back, though, Harry stepped up with a punch of his own. That one made contact. Dudley let out a shrill scream as he covered his now bleeding nose. Harry wasn't finished yet, and he showed it by grabbing the larger boy's head, yanking it downwards and bringing his knee up for the two to meet. The boy quickly fell to the ground screaming in pain

Piers watched in shocked and a bit of amazement when he saw 'Big D" get taken down by his wierdo cousin. When Harry looked his way, he decided to do the first thing that came to mind. Of course, given that this was a boy who was like-minded with Dudley, that thing was to attack. He took a swing and promptly took a tumble, landing face first in the dirt after getting tripped by his target.

"Well, that was fun." Harry said, dusting his hands off. The other kids on the playground stared at what had transpired in silence for several seconds before some suddenly broke into cheers; someone finally gave the resident bully a taste of his own medicine. Unfortunately, this was cut short by the shriek of a teacher.

"What in Heaven's name did you think you were doing, child!?" The school principal demanded, staring at Harry like the boy had lost his marbles. Dudley had already been taken to the nurses office so

Harry shrugged, "They enjoy pushing kids around, so I decided they needed some pushing of their own. Besides, their both swine."

"It's all good and well to not let yourself be cowed, but you gave Dudley a bloody nose and split his upper lip! Not to mention the black eye Piers received from the rock he landed on."

"Was his own fault for landing on it in the first place" He knew Vernon and Petunia would be ready to beat him senseless for what he did, but after all the crap he went through before, he didn't really give two bollocks now.

The principal rubbed his temples, "Still, I had to inform both their parents. And fighting on school grounds strictly prohibited. Hence I'm afraid I have suspend you for the few days. You aunt and uncle should be here momentarily"

Sure enough, almost as soon as he finished that sentance, Vernon and Petunia came charging like like wild buffalo. Petunia instanly ordered she be taken to her 'Precious Duddykins' and Vernon was glaring at Harry, his face an impressive shade of purple. He leaned over and whispered, his voice raspy from anger,

"When we get home, _boy.._" He spat the word with undisguised venom, "You are going to pay, and pay dearly."

The meeting went by with the Dursley's being their typical selves; Petunia was acting like Harry had tried to dismember her son and Vernon was a mix of trying to pass him off as a mentally disturbed child and threatening to sue the school for letting Dudley get injured in the first place. Harry had to refrain from scoffing mor than once at their comments, as well as at the principle's apologizing for the fight in the first place.

"Wasn't much of a fight to be honest. They like dishing it out but niether could take it." He muttered to himself. Thankfully, Vernon's bellowing covered it up. One things were all said and done, they were allowed to take the boys home.

The ride back home was amazingly quiet. Petunia made Dudley sit in her lap while Harry stayed in the back. Vernon's purple hue never fade. In fact, it was slowly shifting to violet. The car soon pulled into the drive way and Harry was quickly ushered inside. The second the door closed, he ducked to the side in time to avoid his uncle's fist.

"Hold still, you little..!" Vernon never got a chance to finish as his mouth suddenly slammed shut. During his travels, Harry learned that while accidental magic was common with wizarding children, older wizards and witches weren't immune. Even ones close to Dumbledore and Voldemort's level such could still have bouts, especially if their emotions got the best of them. In that light, Harry had discovered that with a bit of concentration and focus, a child could control the burst of magic a bit to intentionally cast a spell but it would still be counted as accidental if it was done before they received a wand. Basically, they could perform small doses of wandless magic if they thought about it. It was that burst he used to make the man 'shut up', so to speak.

Petunia screeched, "What have you..!?" before she was silenced as well. Vernon's muffled bellowing resumed as he tried to strike his nephew again. This time however, he instead started flailing to keep his balance after finding his feet stuck to the floor.

"Now that you're behaving in a more civil manner, 'dear' Uncle; I feel it's time we said our good-byes. As soon as I've finished what I have to say, we will be parting ways."

Vernon's eyebrows raised slightly at that statement.

"I find you to be a fat, pompus, gorilla-fisted, pile of buzzard droppings." He snickered when he saw his uncle turn magenta and his wife started seething as well, "And you, 'aunt' Petunia, need to learn the meaning of minding your own bloody business! I'm surprised you still have that nose considering you stick it into everyone else's lives."

He waited a minuted while the two of them tried to tell him off before stepping in front of the fireplace, "Anyway, I think I'll leave you both with one parting remark: the both of you are the sorriest excuses of human beings I've ever had the misfortune of being around. And I hope your sea cow of a son finally wises up and sticks you in a cheap nursing home when he gets older."

Ignoring their screams, Harry gave them the two-finger salute and with a turn of his heel, apparated away from No.4 Privit Drive, never to return.

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Well, here's the first chapter. Shows you the kind of attitude Harry's got in this story.


	3. Chapter 3

(insert obligatory disclaimer here)

DeliaDee: Good point.

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Chapter 2.

Dumbledore was frantic; not half an hour ago, several of his little silver gizmos and doodads that he used to keep tabs on Harry suddenly stopped. Namely ones that let him know he was still at the Dursleys and being suppressed. One that even kept track of his temperament actually let out a piercing whistle before the top half popped completely off.

"This is not good; not good at all!" He said to himself. Something had changed drastically in Harry and it had to be stopped. There was still five years until Harry was old enough was attend Hogwarts, and he couldn't afford having the boy learn who he was before he wanted him to. (Poor Dumbles..if only ye knew) The Headmaster quickly started making plans to find him and get him back under the Dursley's thumb. He cursed himself for not already placing tracking charms on the boy beforehand.

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Freedom...

First the first time in either life, Harry James Potter felt freedom from the people who had used him before. After telling off his aunt and uncle, he apperated to the Leaky Cauldron. It was slightly empty this time of day and the bartender was taking a nap so he could sneak to the back door unnoticed. A quick burst of magic on the key brick was enough to open the passage to Diagon Ally.

_"Feels good to be back." _He said to himself as he tore off a strip of cloth from the shirt he had on and used it to hide his scar from the few people that were still there. The shops were just as he remembered; the potion store, Ollivander's, Fortesque's ice cream shop, even Flourish & Blotts. After shaking his head to clear it, he focused on the task at hand and made a beeline to Gringotts.

Inside, the banks was as busy as ever. He ignored the two guards looking at him with curiosity and headed to the first goblin he recognized; Griphook.

"Um, excuse me?" He piped up, resisting the urge to greet the goblin like he had in his old life. Over the years, the two had become good friends and got into the habit of calling each other by name. Harry was just about the only human Griphook talked to casually.

The goblin raised an eye at the boy. He quickly looked around for signs of his parents before it clicked that he was alone. As unusual as this was, he cleared his throat and settled back into his business mode, "Yes, how can I help you?"

"You see, I need to check my family vault but my key was taken from me." Griphook's face took on an air of suspicion at this, "Is there any way I can prove my identity so I can get it back, or at least a replacement?"

"Well, there is one way. But it will involve a bit of your blood." The goblin answered, his eyes widening when the boy stuck his arm out without hesitation. Griphook quickly took out a small gold saucer and used his claw to cut Harry's hand, letting a few drops of blood fall onto it before healing the wound. He then placed a quill and parchment front of him, "Write your name down. If the name is real it will stay."

Harry dipped the quill in the quill in the blood and wrote 'Harry James Potter" Griphook's eyes widened even more as the name glowed for a second before it sank into the paper.

""Mr. Potter...one moment, please, " Griphook began rifling through files underneath his desk, "Ah, here we are. Your trust vault key is currently in the possession of your guardian, Albus Dumbledore."

_"Why am I not surprised. _If that's the case, is there a way I can get it back or get my own?_" _

"A second key can be made if you want." Griphook said.

"Good. I'd like it as soon as possible." It was then he realized something was off, "Griphook?" He said, pretending to get the name from his desk, "You said that was my trust vault?"

"Yes. Dumbledore has the trust key, but only a Potter can access the Family Vault. For some reason, the headmaster was rather angry when he learned that and tried to force the door open on more than one occasion."

_"The hell?? No one ever told me anything about a family vault! DAMN you, Dumbledore! _I'd like to go see it if it's ok."

"Of course. The key will take a short while to be made anyway. This way please." Griphook headed off with Harry right behind him.

A few minutes of high-speed riding later, the two were standing in front of a pair of large iron doors. An emerald 'P' was set in the middle.

"Place your hand on the door. It will open if it accepts you."

Harry took a deep breath and set his hand on the door. He felt a light tingle pass through his arm as if it was making sure he was legit. A moment later the tingle faded and the doors slid apart with a loud groan. Both Harry and Griphook when slack-jawed at the sight. The other vault was sizable by itself, but the family vault dwarfed it by far! Inside lay chests and bookcases overflowing with books, scrolls and antiques. Cash and jewelry lay in piles and boxes everywhere and paintings lay stacked against the wall. Judging from the sheer amount inside, it had been gathered over a LONG time.

"Wow.." Was all Harry could say.

"Indeed." responded Griphook. Suddenly the look of realization crossed his face, "Oh! I nearly forgot. I believe your father put something in here the day you were born."

"My dad?? Did he say what?"

"No, I only remember that he came in carrying a small metal box. It had a heavy padlock on. Once he returned from the vault, he left specific instructions and no one be allowed to see the contents before you."

"Why do I have the feeling that's why Dumbledork was so adamant on getting inside?" Harry said as he stepped inside. Noticing Griphook wasn't coming, he looked over at him.

"Only family members are allowed inside." He said, staying back from the door. Harry nodded before venturing in.

He let out a low whistle at the contents. In all his life, this one and the last, he had no idea the Potter family went back so far. He ran his fingers lightly over a shelf of old books before a faint call grabbed his attention, "Griphook, was that you?"

"No, it sounded like one of the paintings. I think it might be trying to get your arrention."

"Hello?" Harry called out.

"Over here! In the corner!" A voice called out from the back. It was defiantly female, "Jame's, wake up! Someones here!"

Harry's heart skipped a beat. 'James'? That was his dad's name...

He was soon bounding over chests and boxes to reach the source of the voice. When he finally reached the corner, he was met by the portrait of a man with brown eyes behind glasses and raven-black hair. Beside him was a green-eyed redhead. They stared at each other before Harry managed to find his voice.

"M-Mom? Dad?"

The woman gasped and covered her mouth, tears running down her face, "Harry...is..is it really you??" She looked at the man, "James, he's back..our boy is back!"

James, held his wife as he smiled at Harry, "Welcome back, son." he said, a tear running down his face as well.

As long as he could remember, the last time Harry Potter had ever cried was in anger at learning of his being betrayed.

For the first time in forty- eight years, he cried again; this in in joy at finding his parents.

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"Harry..I..I just can't believe you're really here!" Lilly said after they had all managed to calm down a bit, "After what happened, I was afraid..."

"He tried to, Mom." Harry said, getting looks from both his parents.

"Say what?"

"Voldemort. After he killed you two, he tried to hit me with the Killing Curse. Somehow it backfired on him."

"You mean he's dead?" James asked, a tone of hope in his voice.

" 'Fraid not, Dad. All it did was turn him into a spook. Although, because of all that, everyone seems intent on calling me _The-Boy-Who-Lived_." He finished the sentence like it left a bad taste in his mouth, "That and I got this as a souvenir." He raised his hair to show the scar

"Oh bloody.." James muttered, "Well, at least life with the Longbottoms is ok, right? Or did they send you to live with the Grangers?"

"Longbottoms? Grangers? What are you talking about? Dumbledore put me with the Dursleys."

The second he said that name, Lilly Potters emerald eyes flashed darkly, "WHAT!?" She screamed, nearly knocking them both over, "What the bloody hell is he thinking?! The Dursleys are the last people we'd even consider TELLING you about! They despise anything that isn't like them. I mean, they're the muggle version of the Malfoys!"

"Hold on..you never wanted me to live with them?"

James looked at his son incredulously, "Of course not! We told him and even specifically stated in our will that under no circumstances were you to even be near those people!. You were to either live with the Longbottoms, of if circumstances couldn't allow it, the Grangers who were friends of Lilly's."

Harry tried to keep his cool, but underneath he was thinking of a painful and humiliating end for the 'Leader of the Light". That senile son of a bitch had deliberately gone against his parent's wishes!

"Whare is the will anyway?" He told them what Griphook has said about Dumbledore trying to force his way into the vault as well as his currently being named guardian.

This was met with shocked expressions by both his parents until James sighed, "I should've known something was up when he was adamant that he be named your guardian if something happened to us. He actually tried to _order _us to do it one time."

"I'm willing to bet that's why he wanted in; to change the will." Harry growled

"I can't believe this..I trusted that man!" Lilly said, a mixture of disappointed and pissed off, "And now our son is stuck with those horrid people!"

"Well, not anymore, Mom." He recounted what he had done earlier that day. By the time he was finished, James was cackling like a madman and Lilly, though informing him she didn't quite approve of his methods, as well as congratulating him for performing wandless magic in a way, was giggling herself.

"Nice job, son." James said approvingly after he could talk straight, "Anyway, I buried the box containing the will in a pile of money with a mermaid statuette laying on it. To open it, just stick your finger in the lock's keyhole." An evil grin crossed his father's face, "Even if Dumbles had gotten in, anyone aside from a Potter would lose their finger in THAT lock."

"Nasty, I like it." Harry chuckled as he found the correct pile and began digging. The box lay almost at the very bottom. Harry slowly placed his finger in and felt a tiny poke. He guessed it was checking him because the lock soon popped open, allowing him access to the box's contents. Inside lay a rolled up scroll bearing the words _'Last Will and Testament of James and Lilly Potter.' _

"Harry, honey. There's something I've been wanting to ask you. You look like you've just turned six, yet...you're not acting like one. Plus, you've been comprehending all this far too well for a child your age." Lilly said, raising an eye slightly.

For a split second, Harry froze when he realized he was acting too much like his old self. He started to curse himself for his mistake when a voice popped in his head.

_"Harry, their your parents; you actually have a chance to be with them after all this time. Plus they can help you out as well. You'll need allies, what better ones to have than your own mom and dad?"_

Taking a deep breath, he looked his parents straight in the face, "Mom, Dad...there's something you should know..."

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you saw right, James and Lilly, (or their picture at least) are joining in the fray. Poor Dumbledore, Harry's bad enough. Wait till he has to deal with an enraged Lilly

Next time: Lilly! Put the man _down_!


	4. Chapter 4

now the fun begins )

**Alorkin:** Don't worry, he'll buy a few things that fit, but that's all. Dumbledore getting sucked in...too easy. More fun to picture him having a fit at not being allowed in.

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Chapter 3.

It took Harry most of the day to explain to his parents about what had happened during his old life, as well as his using the Temporal Gate. Fortunately, Griphook had left earlier to have the new key made so he didn't catch Lilly's outburst about what she would've liked to do to Umbridge after he told about his fifth year. James was more angry at Fudge for trying to sweep things under the rug and make Harry out to be the villian. Either way, both of them wanted to tear a strip out of Dumbledore for starting it all in the first place.

"THAT LEMON-SUCKING SO-AND-SO!" Lilly roared, making James flatten against the frame as she started going into a punishment that involved sandpaper, a hot curling iron, and a very sensitive orifice on Dumbledore's person.

Harry laughed at the idea of his mom, said to be one of the most studious students at Hogwarts, planning out a revenge that would make Snape whimper. As he heard her add other painful items to her list, he went over what they said about who they had wanted him to live with, "Mom, you said the Grangers were friends of yours?"

Lilly snapped out of her revenge mode long enough to sigh, "Yeah, your father and I met them during a Lamaze class before you and Hermione were born. We made small talk during them and things just hit off from there. That and they were my dentists for a good while."

At the mention of his bushy-haired friend's name, Harry found himself remembering everything they had went through before. _"This time it'll be different, 'Mione. I promise."_

"Oh, Harry, before I forget, you may wanna check the will. Before the attack, we decided to add something to it just in case it was prevented from being carried out."

Nodding, Harry unrolled the parchment and began to read. As he read, his parents saw his eyes, as they were the only thing not hidden behind the paper, widen some before they shifted into a look that normally accompanied an evil smile, "Hehehe...the headmaster's gonna crap himself once he learns about this." He rolled the will back up and returned it to the box as Griphook returned with the key to his trust vault.

"Mom, Dad. I gotta go for now. I'll come back as soon as I can. Ok?"

"All right, honey. I'm just glad things are finally looking up for you." Lilly said as they said their good-byes and Harry left with Griphook to the trust vault.

"Griphook, is there a way I can talk to the bank head when we get out of here? There's something I need to get checked on." He tapped the box in his hands.

The goblin nodded and handed him the key as well as a small money bag. He took a minute to load up and the two were back on their way to the surface.

"How fast you can see him depends on the importance of what you need." Griphook informed him once they entered the main hall again, "What is it you need looked at?"

"My parents' will. I'd like it looked at and to see how much of it can be enacted as soon as possible."

"Right, follow me, please." Harry followed him to an elaborately carved door that opened to an impressive office. Polished marble floor, pillars, goblin statues lining the walls and a desk that appeared to be topped with gold. At the desk sat an intimidating-looking goblin, even with the spectacles he had on.

"What is it, Griphook?" The obviously older goblin looked at them, "And why is there a boy with you?"

"Um, Ragnarok, sir; this is Harry Potter. He wishes to speak to you about his parents' will." Griphook said, bowing profusely.

Ragnarok looked at Harry, "Do you have the document? Instructions were specific that no one be allowed to read it before you."

"Right here." He stuck his finger back in the lock to open it, "I read it back in the vault." Harry handed the will to Ragnarok who slowly opened it, "I want to know how much can be put into effect immediately."

Ragnarok began reading:

'We, James Issac Potter and Lilly Evans Potter, being of sound mind and body, hereby leave the following:'

'To our friends, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, we leave the sum of 700,000 galleons to be divided equally between the two of you. Look after Harry for us, will you, guys?'

'To the Grangers, we leave the sum of 400,000 galleons, converted into nonmagical currency. Here's to seeing Hermione grow into a wonderful young lady.'

'Finally to our son Harry, we leave all our remaining possessions and the contents of the family vault, as well as James' great-grandfather's home in Staffordshire, 13 Isilton Way.'

'Should something happen to us, absolutely under NO condition is he to live with Vernon and Petunia Dursley. He is to either live with the Longbottoms, or if circumstances prevent that, the Grangers. Depending on which family he goes to, his magical guardians are to be either Frank and Alice Longbottom or Dan and Emiela Granger.'

'Once Harry reaches 10 years old, his magic inhibiters are to be removed so he will have time to get accustomed to his magic and get his full potential before attending Hogwarts'

'Harry, wherever you are. Know that we love you and wish you the best'

Harry smile a bit at the last line, "Love you too." he whispered before his eyes hardened at Dumbledoe's name written down as the witness, "Ragnarok, sir. What would happen if someone blatantly went against part of a will?"

The head goblin scowled at the idea, "That person would be fined heavily and forfit any rights they had in the will should they be listed at a benefactor. Why do you ask."

"Dumbledore." Harry's expression darkened a bit, "The night my parents died, he immediately placed me with the Durseys. He's listed as witnessing this will and so he knew that my parents didn't want me with them. Plus, Griphook informed me that somehow, he was now my magical guardian. Even though the will specifically lists the Longbottoms or Grangers. In that case, I can only assume he appointed himself"

Ragnarok bared his teeth, "These are serious offenses!" He slammed his hand on a buzzer, calling another goblin, "Runefang! Take the maximum fine for will tampering from Dumbledore's vault and inform him that since he went against the Potter will and named himself guardian of Harry Potter, any rights he gains with that title are hereby null and void! Oh, and inform the other recipients of their acquisitions."

Harry was impressed, Ragnarok was someone you definatly didn't mess with.

"As for when you can acquire what was willed to you, once the will is notarized and stamped, like so..." The goblin quickly wrote something down and applied a large stamp to the paper. As soon as that happened, Harry felt a slight tingle rip through him. "The vault and house now belong to you as of this moment."

"Cool." Harry replied, grinning at the thought of Dumbles schemes already starting to go bollocks up.

"With that settled, is there anything else You need?"

"Now that you mention it, yeah. Since Dumbledore no longer has 'guardian' status, that means he can't have the key to the trust vault, right?"

"Quite right. Runefang, when you notify him, retrieve the vault key as well."

Harry watched as Runefang quickly left to do his assigned work, _"No more easy cash for you, old man. _ I think that'll be all for the moment, Ragnarok. I have to get a few things then I'll be back. Thanks for your help." He said before making his way out of Gringotts.

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Dumbledore muttered to himself as he walked through the currently empty halls of Hogwarts. There was still no word of Harry Potter's whereabouts and he was getting annoyed. The Dursleys claimed that the boy immobilized and told them off then simply disappeared right in front of their eyes. What rot; the boy didn't even know he WAS a wizard much less have the ability to cast any spell knowingly. Whoever took him obviously modified their memories.

He started to head back to his office when a sudden roar from the trophy case made him jump back. He looked to see a the picture of the Potters Minerva had placed there in memory after the attack, however, instead of their usual smile, both were glaring at him with unadulterated malice.

"ALBUS WULFRIC PERCIVEL DUMBLEDORE!" Lilly bellowed with a force that rivaled even Molly Weasley's tone, "YOU MISERABLE TOE-RAG! You put our son with the Dursleys after we SPECIFICALLY said we didn't want him near them and have the audacity to name YOURSELF as guardian! If I was still alive I'd shove my wand straight up your..!"

Dumbledore face quickly lost all it's color as the young woman began to describe in detail the forceful insertion of pointy objects into tender areas of his person, "_Wait..that picture shouldn't even be active now unless...the vault..."_

If you listened hard enough, you could almost hear Hogwarts giggle as the headmaster muttered, "Oh, bugger all..."

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If I read the tallies right, it looks like Hufflepuff is in the lead. He'll get sorted into the winning house the chapter after next.

For those wondering, Harry'll meet Hermione's parents during 1st year. For now he'll be trying to stay under the radar whilw doing as much damage to Dumbledore as he can.


	5. Chapter 5

**Don't own HP. if I did, DH wouldn't have been so damn anti-climactic!**

**CarpeNocturn: ** No, she didn't know. She's just a 'Dumble knows best' victim.

Fraid he won't be meeting the Longbottoms just yet. He's intending to lay as low as he can because of Dumbledore and meeting the Longbottoms might undo all that.

Speech

_Thought_

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Chapter 4

Diagon Ally was a bit more full than Harry would've liked after leaving the bank, but thankfully most were too concerned with getting their shopping done to notice him as he weaved through the throng towards Ollivander's. He had learned beforehand even though he was a little bit weird, the old wandmaker was trustworthy.

"Mr.Potter, I didn't expect to see you here so soon." Ollivander said, beaming at the boy as he entered, "About 5 years early to be exact."

"Figured I'd get it early." He replied, watching the wandmaker come up with his measuring tape.

A hour and several dozen wands later, Harry readied himself as he watched the man come up with a very familiar-looking wand, "_Gonna be wierd holding my wand for the first time again." _He reached out for it, expecting the same warm feeling...

...but nothing happened.

It took everything he had not to blurt out 'The hell?" as he gave it a few waves but got nothing, not even sparks from the tip before Ollivander took the wand back.

"Well, Mr. Potter. I must say..." He gave Harry a grin, "It wold appear you require a more personal approach." He led him to the back where it was loaded to the ceiling with blocks of wood, jars, boxes and other odds and ends, "Take a look around and pick up anything that seems to call you. Take your time."

**(AN: **Before you jump on me, it only seems fair that a badass Harry has a badass wand. Right?**)**

_"Well, I am gonna miss my old wand, but it's not every day you get a customized wand." _ Harry said to himself as he ran his fingers over a brick of cherry. He started to look at some oak when a carefully wrapped cloth caught his eye. He looked at Ollivander to see if it was all right only to get a 'go on' motion from him. As he unwrapped it, his eyes widened at a beautiful translucent blue crystal rod resting within the cloth. It almost glowed as the light hit it. Inside the crystal, he could see what looked like shining flakes of metal inside "Unreal.." he whispered, mesmerized by it; that is until a bout of giddy laughter and clapping brought him out of it. **(**Dunno why, but I like Ollivander. He just strikes me as kinda cool in a weird way**)**

The giddyness was coming from Ollivander himself, "Oh, thank you, Mr.Potter! I've been itching for a chance to make a wand with that! But I didn't want to make one only to have it lay in a box for heaven knows how long."

"What is it?"

"That is a cobalt crystal. Very hard to find. I was lucky enough to find that during one of my material excursions." He clapped his hands, "Now. Time to find the core for it."

Harry stifled a chuckle as he resumed his search. The guy really liked his work, that was obvious. He resumed looking around until he felt something from a faded yellow box. He reached in and nearly sliced his hand open on a large sliver of what felt like bone.

Ollivander's eyes brightened again as his took it, "My, my, Mr.Potter, you don't do anything halfway if those components are any evidence. That is a fragment of dragon skull. Russian Razorclaw if I'm not mistaken. Nasty breed. I'm just thankful it was already dead when I found it."

"Will these make a decent wand?" Harry asked, never having seen a wand being made himself. He cocked an eye when the man laughed.

"Mr. Potter. I believe your wand will be able, to put it in muggle terms, to put quite the beat-down on someone"

A faint grin appeared on Harry's face, "I could get used to that. How long until it's ready?"

"I'm afraid it will be quite some time. I don't want to damage the materials so I will have to be very gentle with the construction. I guess you could think of it on the same terms of crafting a samurai sword from scratch. That and running my shop, you see. A couple of years at least."

"That long, huh? _Well, if it's going to be as kickass as he says it'll be. I can wait that long. _Ok. How much?"

Ollivander cradled the pieces like a newborn, "I'll let you know once it's complete."

"All right. _He's weird, but gotta respect a guy who loves his job like he does."_ Harry thought as he left the shop and headed back to Gringotts.

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"...And I hope the next one you pass really hurts like hell!" Lilly's picture yelled after the Headmaster once he finally got his nerve back from the verbal onslaught. He had forgotten how scary a mother can be when truly pissed off and took a moment to regain his composure before going back to his office. A few lemon drops would relax him.

"He's opened the vault..but how..?" He muttered as he sat his desk and popped back a few drops, "I have got to find him..." His train of thought came to a halt when a Gringotts owl came flying in through the window with a letter.

"Another statement from his trust vault." He said to himself, ignoring the disapproving looks from the Sorting Hat and Fawkes. He opened it and the Hat swore it could've heared the old man whimper.

"Dumbledore, it has come to our attention that you have intentionally gone against the will of one James Potter and one Lilly Potter by blatantly ignoring their wishes that Harry Potter not be placed with one Petunia Dursley and one Vernon Dursley and by declaring yourself as his magical guardian. This is a serious offense and the maximum punishment has been place."

"You are hereby fined 500,000 galleons and all rights and privileges that go along with the status as Guardian are as of this moment revoked." Dumbledore nearly shrieked as he watched his key to the trust vault suddenly vanish from the desk.

The 'Leader of the Light' remained quiet and motionless for several seconds before his eyes rolled back in his head and he passed out from the cumulative results of the day, toppling backwards in his chair.

Fawkes and the Hat looked at the now shellshocked wizard, then each other...

and both started laughing their asses off.

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A quick stop to retrieve his parents' picture and he was back in Ragnarok's office.

"Mr. Ragnarok, is it possible for me to floo to Isilton Way from here? I'd like to get there as soon as possible "

The goblin motioned to a fireplace in the corner, "Of course. It's right over here."

Harry thanked him and stepped in. "With a call of '!3 Isilton Way', he and the portrait vanished in a whirl of fire.

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The next day, Molly Weasley was abruptly pulled from her daily chores by the scream of her third eldest child, Percy.

"Scabbers! Scabbers!" The boy wailed outside, looking in the sky. In his hand was a hawk feather.

"Percy! What's going on??" She called out, running up to him.

The boy looked at her with tear-filled eyes, "Mom! A..a hawk just took Scabbers! I left him in the yard while I went to get him some food..next thing I heard him suddenly squeak out loud and when I got back...he..he was gone! And this feather was laying nearby!"

"Oh, honey.." As Molly tried to console her son, niether of them noticed the raven-haired boy watching from behind the outhouse.

Harry shook his head, he would've felt more guilty had he not already known what a git Percy would grow up to be. That and the rat he had in his hands had murdered 13 people simply to frame a man. Fortunately it was easy to grab him right now. a quick summoning spell and leaving the feather he managed to get a hold of.

The rodent have a stifled squeak of terror as the boy holding him tightened his grp and looked at him with a pair of cold green eyes, "Hello, Peter Pettigrew."

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It's the home stretch people! Hurry up and vote for Harry's house. It'll be announced at the end of the next chapter!.


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm Not Rowling. Too bad, so sad.**

Let the havoc resume!

Now that I think about it, this kinda Harry would work well with Limp Bizkit's 'My Way' as his theme song

**Mikee:** Since Harry picked parts Ollivander really wanted to work with, he doesn't wanna be hasty and ruin it.. That and he still has his business to run.

**athenakitty: ** In a way, Harry's a completly different person this time around. I guess you could say he's changed enough that the wand isn't compatible with him anymore.

**Alorkin: **True, legal jargon escapes me sometimes. heh.

**Silverythm: **They won't show up for a good while, so I'm still contemplating what to do with them.

In case you're wondering. Dumbledore only signed the will as witness, so he doesn't know what Harry got aside from the vault. And since he assumes he knows all about him, he isn't thinking he could be at the house.

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Chapter 5

_**Pettigrew's Appearance!**_

_**Supposedly Dead Man Returns!**_

_Peter Pettigrew, the man believed to have been murdered along with 13 muggles by Sirius Black suddenly appeared in Ministry Headquarters today, having tumbled from a fireplace in front of a pair of aurors. To add to the shock, the unconscious Pettigrew appeared to have received a vicious pummeling; sustaining a broken arm, cracked jaw, and damage to his spinal column, paralyzing him from the waist down. After several tests and scans to check for polyjuice and any other disguise attempts, it was determine that he is the real person. Pinned to his coat was a note that has sparked an uproar:_

'To the Ministry,'

'I hope you morons use Veritaserum this time. Unlike what you did with Sirius Black.'

_There was no signature, but the accusation in the letter has brought forth suspicions of serious miscarriages of justice, namely with Black if it is true that he was imprisoned 6 years ago without a fair trial with the addition of Veritaserum. We will keep you up to date on any late-breaking news.'_

Sirus laughed harder than he ever had in his life when he reread the week old article. Ministry officials like Fudge and Crouch had to admit they had messed up once Pettigrew was given the potion and sang like a magpie, even admitting that he was the Potter's Secret Keeper and Serius was just acting as decoy. A smile graced his lips when he heard that Pettigrew would be spending his remaining life in solitary in Azkaban the second he was discharged from St.Mungos. He was quickly removed from the prison and given Veritaserum as well, collaborating Peter's tale.

A lot of people were pissed at the Ministry for the screwup. Fudge did his best to smooth things over but it didn't help much. All in all, Sirius walked away a free man with a hefty compensation and apology, minus the fine he had to pay when the serum made him admit he was an unregistered animagus. It wasn't long after that he received a letter telling him to head to Isilton Way where he'd be pleasantly surprised.

As soon as he apperated to Lichfield, he decided it was too nice a day not to walk. That and being cooped up in a cell so long made it a welcome change. He hummed a jaunty tune as he ticked off the house numbers until he came across #13. His eyes came to rest on a small country chateau in near the forest line. "Nice.: He said himself as he came up the door. A quick knock on the door was answered by a house elf wearing a makeshift gown.

"Master Harry is Expecting you, Mr. Sirius!" The elf squeaked, the tone identifying it as female.

Sirius almost felt his neck crick from the double-take he did, "H-Harry??"

"I got it, Kippie." A voice piped up nearby.

Sirius' eyes nearly exited their sockets when Harry stepped up in sneakers, jeans and a t-shirt, "Ha..Ha..Har..H-Harry?! Is that you??"

Harry quickly hugged him, _"Welcome back, Sirius."_ He had finally come to terms with his godfather's death in his last life, but that didn't mean he wasn't happy to see the man again.

"Harry, don't hog the man. I haven't seen him in years either." Another voice called out from the living room. Sirius recognized it instantly.

"Was..was that..J-James??" He choked. Harry led him to the room where his parents' picture had been hung over the fireplace.

"It's been a while..Padfoot." James grinned, a faint tear on his face.

The man stammered incoherintly for a moment before Lily decided to bring him up to date

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A short while later, Sirius was pacing around seething, "I can't believe this...that..that hairy BASTARD!" He growled, "He knew..he bloody KNEW and he still let me get locked up! Why!?"

"He knew you'd come give the Dursley's hell and even try to get me out of there. Dumbledore wanted me to grow up depressed and willing to think anyone who got me out of there was the greatest person ever." Harry said, sitting in a stuffed armchair, "He thinks he has the right to turn me into a weapon when I get to Hogwarts."

Sirius started to ask questions when Harry stopped him, "I'll tell you everything once the other gets here. I sent a letter to someone else."

"What other..?" Sirus asked before another knock on the door interrupted him.

"Speak of the devil." Harry said as Kippie answered it, "Or should I say, 'werewolf'"

Sirius wheeled around to see the newcomer only to be met with a look of surprise rivaling his on the case of Remus Lupin, "Remus!?"

"Sirius.." Remus gave a weak chuckle before the old friend embraced.

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After watching the reunion of the notorious Marauders, Harry decided it was time to tell them. After several hours (mainly due to the pair passing out after being told Harry was once 70, and to Sirius' horror, still a virgin), the duo's heads were spinning from the revelation.

"Dumbledore...the Weasleys..they were all in on it??" Remus asked in disbelief.

Harry shook his head, "The twins are all right. They actually cut ties to the family after learning what the others did."

"My godson...was still a virgin??" Sirus muttered, still somewhat in shock from that bit of info.

"Yes, Sirius! I was a 70-year-old virgin! Ginny Weasley soured the idea of me ever having a girlfriend again. After that I just decided 'the hell with it', ok? Besides, I was too busy researching the gate to even bother."

"But still..."

"Give it a rest, Sirius." Lilly called out, "I wish he had given me some grandchildren, but it's his choice."

"Thanks, Mom...I think. Anyway, I figured it was best to let you guys know since you two are family, more or less. That and I'll be needing help to prepare for school."

"What do you mean, Harry?" Sirius asked, finally overcoming his fretting.

"Dumbledore, by now, knows I've taken over my family vault and Mom and Dad's will had been carried out."

"Ah, bugger!" Remus blurted out, "I got a letter from Gringotts last week, but it was the day after a full moon and I was too beat to even worry.."

"You two get to divvy up a million and a half galleons. ANYWAY..." Harry continued before either could respond, "He knows that, but he doesn't know where I am now. And I plan to make full use of that advantage."

"What do you plan to do, Harry?" James asked, noting the 'I'm gonna raise some hell' grin his son had on.

"Now that i'm a kid again, I plan to enjoy myself. That and get my body ready as well as practicing Occulumency so I don't have to worry about Dumbles or that grease-stain, Snape." He grinned when Lilly admonished James for laughing at the insult, "So, you guys feel up to helping your best friend's son become a nightmare for the headmaster?"

"Harry, I can't believe you're asking us that!" Sirius said.

"Quite..what you should be asking is when do we want to start." Remus added.

"The wizarding world and Albus won't know what hit them." James snickered. Lily couldn't help but agree

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5 Years Later:

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Sirius Orion Black and his friend Remus J. Lupin stepped through the archway and took a deep breath of the air of Diagon Alley after being gone for half a decade.

"This place hasn't changed a bit." Remus said, feeling a bit nostalgic.

"Im' not complaining.." Sirus replied as he watched a shapely young witch go into the potion shop, only to get an elbow on the side, "What??"

"You can oogle later, Sirius. Business first." Stated the figure that elbowed him. It was young raven-haired boy with gleaming green eyes and unruly-looking shoulder length hair standing between them, dressed in jeans, tennis shoes and a sweater with the words 'You laugh at me 'cause I'm different, I laugh at you 'cause you're butt-ugly' on the front. Standing at 5'2", he wasn't huge, but it was easy to see that he could hold his own in a fight.

He put on a smoldering grin that caught the attention of a pair of witches his age, who nearly walked right into a shop door. He chuckled and said in a whisper, "Heeere's Harry..."

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You'll find out what's happened during the 5 years in the next chapter.

Now for the Moment you've been waiting for...

By a surprising total, the winning house is...

drumroll

RAVENCLAW!

You heard right, Harry will be Ravenclaw's Bad Boy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Don't own...blahh.**

**Alorkin**: Does 'Bubba' have 'I heart Nascar' tatooed on his arm and 11 teeth missing from his dentures? And you say that about Sirius like it's a bad thing

**Frost Merry Darkness Luver: **Your math is a lil off. he was only 6 before the timeskip.

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Chapter 6

"Ah, Mr.Potter. I'm not sure where you've been these recent years, but they seem to have had a positive result." Ollivander said, nodding to the blushing girl standing nearby.

Harry simply chuckled, "It's good to see you too, Mr. Ollivander. I take it it's ready?"

For a moment, you could almost see the man swell with pride as he retrieved a long heavily locked box, "It took quite a while, but I dare say this wand will definitely be one to remember."

Harrys eyes widened as he box slid open revealing a wand made of the crystal, 16 inches long and gleaming in the store's light. The dragonbone core extended from the tip slightly, making a cap on the end. One the handle he noticed a band of what looked like obsidian ringing the top, most likely for decoration. He held his breath as he picked it up and felt a sudden high, like an adrenalin rush, hit him. He cast a quick summoning charm on the bell on the counter and it rocketed into his hand.

"I could get used to this." He smirked beforing grabbing a holster and paying for everything.

Meanwhile, Remus and Sirius were relaxing at Fortescue's while Harry got his things. He had already gotten the acceptance letter so it was obvious Dumbledore now knew where he had been al this time but he wouldn't be able to do anything about it since he had lost all guardian rights

"How badly you think the headmaster'll hemmorage something when he sees Harry?" Remus asked, munching on a sundae.

Padfoot snickered, "Five sickles says he busts a vein at least. The real fun'll be seeing what Snape does."

Harry whistled as he rummaged through Flourish & Blotts for his books, reading through a few while he browsed. The last 5 years had definitely been interesting. Thanks to what he knew before, it didn't take him long to brush up on what he needed for the first couple of years at Hogwarts. Because of that, they had a lot of free time. One thing he did that threw them for a loop was have wiring installed in the house and got a TV and VCR. Padfoot knew some about muggle life but Moony had to learn from the bottom. Thankfully, it wasn't long before the two were arguing over which James Bond was cooler.

He on the other hand, devoted a lot of it to working out. That and the suppliments he took quickly undid what damage had already been done. The whispers, blushes and giggles he was getting were proof of that.

His eyes were glued to a book on advanced charms when a voice he hadn't heard in years caught his attention..

"Come on, where is it!?"

He didn't even have to look to know who it was, _"Hermione..!"_

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**Flashback**

_Harry frowned as he set about redoing his Occlumency shields. He had forgotten just how cluttered he had let his mind get and decided some organization was first priority._

_The first thing he saw almost made him fall over laughing; pictures of Snape, Dumbledore, Ron, and Ginny all scribbled on and covered with throwing darts, showing how much he disliked the four. He decided those would stay where they were and set about sorting out his memories._

_In his mind, it was all set up like a room loaded with filing cabinets so it didn't take him long to sort through the first batch of memories, most of which involved Umbridge facing the fury of Fred and George. It was then he started finding pictures of the few people he could really trust; Neville, Luna, Professors Flitwik and McGonagall, Dobby..._

_Then he found a picture encased in a heart-shaped frame._

_A picture of Hermione Granger. Harry nearly lost his concentration when he saw it. The last time he saw something like this, it was Ginny's face in that kind of frame, before he found out it was from love potion. But, back then the frame itself was shoddy and warped, and the picture looked as if it had been forced in to cover something this one was pristine, flawless._

_Realization then hit him: for a short while in 4th year..while she was helping him get ready for the tournament while everyone else had already condemned him as putting his name in himself..._

_"No..! That can't be!" He snapped at himself, "There's no way..."_

**End Flashback**

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Harry slowly looked over to see the familiar bushy brown hair, "You need a hand..?" He asked, trying to sound casual. He decided he'd worry about that later

"I'm trying to find Herbolgy Basics, but I can't spot a single copy!" She said in exasperation before realizing what she had done, "I'm sorry! I didn't see you..." she froze up when she looked at the dark-haired boy beside her.

"Don't worry. I get a little annoyed too when I can't find something I need. Here." He handed her his copy.

"No, I couldn't..this is yours.." She said.

Harry just shook his head and pulled out his wand, "Accio, Herbolgy Basics!" Another one came soaring out of a top shelf and into his hand, "Well, at least now we know where the rest got put at."

Hermione gawked a little, the boy just used a spell she had no knowledge of like it was second nature.

"By the way, name's Harry." He said holding out his hand.

"H-Hermione..Granger." She said, taking it before his care caught her attention, "Y-You're Harry Potter!" Before he could stop her, she went off on the books she had read about him and how he best the 'dark lord'.

"Her...Hermi..HERMIONIE! CHILL!" He almost yelled, stopping her midway, "Calm down. Besides, most of those so-called 'biographies' are 90 BS anyway."

"But..but you beat You-Know-Who..! You're the Boy-Who-Lived!"

Harry sighed, "I lived at the cost of both my parents. All this praise and junk you've probably seen people wanna give me, it's something I could do without.."

Hermionie's shoulders slumped, 'I..I'm sorry..I didn't.."

He set a hand on her shoulder, "It's ok. I shouldn't have yelled like that myself. A little bit of advice: when you read or hear something, think about it a bit before accepting it as truth. No one's right all the time."

She nodded, cheering up a bit, "So, um..have you figured which house you'll be in? I'm guessing I'll probably be in Ravenclaw."

Harry quickly caught the slightly downbeat tone, "That doesn't sound too bad. Personaly I find smart girls tend to be the cutier ones." He fought a smirk when she blushed, "I'm not sure which one I'll be in. Just have to wait and see."

**(AN: **Harry isn't flirting, he's trying to cheer her up and let her see he's just a normal guy.**)**

Hermione smile, "Well, I better get going. My parents are waiting for me. I'll see you later, Harry."

"Bye, 'Mione." He said, stopping dead in his tracks and cursing himself for using the nickname he gave her too soon. He didn't start calling her that till she had been paralyzed by the basilisk in 2nd year.

Fortunately, his fears were unfounded when she chuckled and, "'Mione..I like that.." before heading to pay for her books.

Harry soon did that as well, and dropped the stack of reading material in both the laps of Moony and Padfoot shortly afterwards, whose protests were met with, "If you two are gonna sit here, you're gonna watch my stuff." Before he made a beeline to the Menagerie, _"Here I come, Hedwig."_

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"There you are, Hermione." Dan Granger snickered, "For a minute we thought you decided to start reading everything in the store."

"Dad!"

"Honestly." Emiela said, "You find everything you needed, honey?"

"Yeah. I'm just glad Harry helped me find my last book or I'd be in there all day."

Her dad's eyes widened, "Harry? A boy?"

Hermione sighed, "Yes, Dad. Harry Potter is a boy.'

Emiela's eyebrows almost went into her hair, "Wait..Potter??"

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Ok..the story will follow base canon, but Harry'll be doing it on his own terms: with sarcasm, insults, and a healthy application of violence.

Next time: The Hogwarts Express and Harry applies his terms.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer goeth here.**

**jabarber69: **True, but doesn't want to raise suspicions. If he grabs it right off the bat, they'll wanna know how he knew. And Hermione won't be the only girl who attention he catches.

**jumping-jo: **When he went back, his age went back as well. All he kept was his intelligence and memories. Harry's 11 like the other first years.

If anyone could remind me of a few ravenclaw names beside Cho and Luna, I'd appreciate it

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"You got everything, Harry?" Remus asked, handing him the cage containing his owl, Hedwig, as they walked up to the London train station

Harry patted the larger-than-normal footlocker resting on his shoulder; a gift Moony and Padfoot pitched in to get him after getting his magic blocks removed on his tenth birthday, expandable with multiple locks, similar to Mad-Eye Moody's, "Books, potion stuff, clothes, and everything else I could think of." He said tapping each lock in succession, "All I gotta do now is keep from throttling certain people on the train."

The three said their good-byes and Harry headed in.. As soon as he reached Platform 9, he heard a voice he wished he hadn't, "Now, where's Platform 9 3/4?"

The voice of Molly Weasley and the rest of the clan still in school. Harry forced himself not to grimace as he walked past them.

"Bah! Dumbledore said he should be here trying to find the platform. How hard can it be to find a skinny little boy with black hair?" He overheard her mutter before looking around and calling out a bit louder, "Where's Platform 9 3/4?"

Harry laughed inwardly at the headmaster for assuming he'd still be underfed and out of the loop _"Does she have any idea how ridiculous she looks acting like that?" _He thought before making a beeline to the pillar. Unfortunately, a gust of wind caught his hair and Ginny saw his scar before he passed through.

"Mom! The boy that just went through! That was Harry Potter"

"What?" Molly looked around, _"How'd he know where it was!?"_

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After weaving his way through the stares of several girls and a couple of guys (which made him cringe a bit), Harry made his way onto the train. Although, given the fact he was wearing khakis, he looked more like he was on his way to military training than a wizarding school. Thankfully the car he got in was mostly empty at the moment. Before he could enjoy the silence, a slightly pudgy boy came rushing out of a nearby cab with a worried look on his face.

_"Lost Trevor again it looks like. _You ok?" Harry asked.

The boy looked up, almost startled, "I lost my frog again.." He groaned.

"What's its name?" Harry pulled out his wand.

"Trevor, but what does.."

"Accio Trevor!" Neville's eyes widened as the frog came whizzing out from a nearby cab into Harry's hand, "I'm guessing this would be him." He said as he handed the boy his frog.

"Thanks! Oh, I'm Neville..Neville Longbottom."

"Hello, Neville-Neville Longbottom. Unfortunatly I only have one first name, Harry Potter."

Neville chuckled at the bad pun before the two found an empty cab and took a few minutes to relax.

"Um, Harry..I was wondering..is..is it true about..?"

"The scar? Yeah, though it's not really something I care to chat about."

Neville nodded in understanding as he halted another escape attempt by his toad. It wasn't long before the train set off.

Harry started to nod off when the door slid open. Opening an eye, he sat up when it turned out to be Hermione.

"Harry! I didn't expect to see you in here!" She smiled.

"Hey, 'Mione. Guess it's a small world after all. You looking for a seat?"

"Yeah..this place is.." She was cut off as a redheaded boy rudely pushed her aside.

"Oi! All the other cabs are full, mind if I sit here? By the way, name's Ron Weasley" He started to barge in when Harry stuck his hand out.

"Actually, I DO mind. I don't sit with rude gits. And I doubt they do either" He gave the boy a shove of his own as he checked on his friend, "Hermione, you ok?"

"Yeah." She gave the intruder a glare, "Didn't anyone teach you manners!"

"What? I need a place to sit!"

"Well, it sure as heck isn't gonna be in here. Now leave of I'll have to make you leave" Harry crossed his arms as he let her inside. Hedwig hooted in agreement, giving the redhead a defiant click of her beak.

"Look I need a place to sit!" He said, looking at Neville, "Push over!"

With those words, Harry quickly grabbed Ron by the back of his collar and lobbed him over his shoulder into the hallway, letting him bounce off the wall with a meaty 'whap!', "I warned you, now get lost!" He cracked his knuckles for added effect, _"Not to mention that's only part of what's gonna happen to you for what you did to Hermione, you son of a bitch!"_

The boy gave him a dirty look as he staggered to his feet before stomping off. He knew his mom and the headmaster weren't gonna be happy about this. It was a lie that the cabs were full, but it was his job to pal up with the Boy-Who-Lived and convince him to want to have nothing to do with Slythrins and join Gryffindor; however, a monkey wrench just got thrown into those works.

"Nice going, Harry." Neville said, his tone indicating he wished he could do something like that.

"Ah, twits like that lose their steam fast once you make it clear they aren't welcome. You just gotta get the message across loud and clear." He replied, shutting the door.

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The trio began chatting about potential subjects with the lady with the snack cart came by and they soon had packs of candy littering the seats and their laps. As he wolfed down a pumpkin pasty, Harry contemplated whether or not he should tell them about the will when Hermione looked at him.

"Harry..um..there's something I've been wanting to ask you...After we met, I mentioned you to my parents and they acted like your last name brought up memories. You know anything about it?"

_"Well, looks like that answers my question." _ He cast a silencing charm on the door and sat across from them, "Ok..what I'm about to say concerns you both, so I need your word that you won't breath a word of what i'm gonna say to anyone all right?"

He made sure they both understood and agreed before continuing, "When I was six, I learned that if anything had happened to my parents, they wanted me to go live with either the Longbottoms, or the Grangers."

Neville nearly swallowed his chocolate frog whole when that was said, "Say what??"

"My parents will said that I was to live with either Frank and Alice Longbottom, or Dan and Emiela Granger. However..I found out less than 2 hours after my parents death, my 'guardian' immediately put me with my aunt and uncle, the Dursleys, two people that hate anything magical with a passion, and two people that they expressly said I wasn't to live with. Instead I ended up spending the first six years of my life with them."

"But..that's blatant vilation of a legal document!" Hermionie said, looking amazed that someone would have the nerve.

"Then you're gonna love this. I learned that your parents were the only ones listed to become my guardians, whoever I went to live with would get the title. The one who violated my parents will, by ignoring that, and by naming HIMSELF as my guardian, was Albus Dumbledore.."

The resulting silence quickly became very uncomfortable before Neville spoke up, "Harry, is..is this some kinda bad joke?? You're talking about Dumbledore!"

"I'm not, Neville. The goblins told me. They also said he had tried to force his way into my family's vault more than once. Since my dad had stashed their will away in the

vault, I can only guess he wanted it so he could change it and make his guardianship legal."

"This doesn't make any sense..! I mean, WHY?? What could he get out of doing something so..so disgraceful!?" Hermione asked, her expression showing her mind was going a mile a minute.

"Wish I could say. _Sorry I can't say anymore right now, guys, but you'll find out, I promise. _What I can, though, is this." Harry held up his wand, "I Harry James Potter swear on my magic and my life that what I've just said is the truth."

Neville and Hermione were dumbstruck when his wand glowed to show the vow had taken place, but nothing had happened to him, telling them that he had not lied.

"So..so you're saying you could've been living with either me or Hermione but that didn't happen because the headmaster ignored your parent's wishes?" Neville asked, determined to talk to his grandma about this.

"Yeah..when I saw the will, I noticed he had signed as a witness, so he was there when they said I wasn't to go."

"He knew..he knew and he STILL did it?!" The two said in unison. As soon as Harry nodded, the level of respect they had for Dumbledore dropped significantly.

"We're nearning Hogwarts!" A prefect called out from the end of the cab, "Everyone change into your robes!"

As he looked out the window, neither saw the evil grin form on Harry's face, "_Head's up, boys and girls! I'mm heereee!"_

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Who should I feel worse for, Snape and Dumbles or Hogwarts once Harry gets up a head of steam?

next time: The Sorting and a the first people to fall victim to Harry's warped sense of humor.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: blah blah blah, don't own.**

Speech

_Thought/Parsal_

**Alorkin**: Don't worry, Ronny-boy'll get his more than once. Draco too.

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"Firs' years! Firs' years this way!" Hagrid called out as everyone climbed off the train.

Harry looked over and was slightly surprised he could already see the thestrals that pulled the carriages, _"Wierd. guess it carried over."_

"All right, no more than four to a boat now." The half-giant called out as they started to file into the small boats.

"Blimey..." Neville whispered as he, Harry and Hermione shared a bot. Unfortunately, the 4th passenger turned out to be Ron.

"Ya know, Slythern's said to be nothing but dark wizards. That's all that house makes." He blurted out all of a sudden.

"You talk like that's fact." Harry muttered, starting to wonder why he suddenly said it.

"Well it is! Who else would wanna be in that house if they weren't a Death-Eater-in-training?" He said with an air of smugness

"Ok..so let me get this straight; let's say one of us, a muggleborn witch, a member of a family that's known to be as non-dark wizard as you can get, and the supposed boy-who-lived..let's say one or more of us gets put in Slythern. Would that automatically make us dark wizards?"

"You better hope you don't." He said in a tone that he thought was intimidating. However the next thing to escape his mouth was a yelp as Harry threw him out of the boat.

"Harry!" Hermione said, "Why did you do that!?"

"Two reasons, he'd already made up his mind that we'd be evil if we did get put in that house. Second, his answer was an attempt to bully us into not wanting to be Slythrens, and a pretty poor attempt at that. Since he tried to force us to do what he wanted, that counted him as a bully, and I do NOT tolerate bullies." Harry replied as a soaked Ron scrambled back into the boat. Since it was raining everyone was already drenched, it wouldn't have been noticeable.

The boats soon brought them across to the steps leading to the great hall. Professor McGonagall was already there waiting for them. She gave the speech about the houses and being sorted before telling them to follow her. Harry took the chance to get at the back when he saw Draco Malfoy, not really wanting to bother with him this time.

It wasn't long before one of the girls screamed as a water balloon came crashing down on her.

"Ha ha! Lookit the soaked lil' firsties!" Peeves cackled as he hurled another into the group.

_"Time for a little 'tit-for-tat', Peeves!" _Harry grinned as he whipped out his wand and whispered, "Diffindo! Glacius!"

The first spell hit Peeves' armful of balloons, popping all of them and dousing the poltergeist. Before he had a chance to curse whoever ruined his fun, the second one hit, freezing him into an ice statue that clattered to the floor in front of them.

McGonagall stared wide-eyed at the 'Peevesicle' laying on the floor, "Well...I..I must say..who..whoever did that..well done." She regained her composure and led them to the doors, "Wait here until you are called."

Neville and Hermionie stared at Harry like he had just pulled an extra leg out of his nose. "What? I figured I'd get an early start on things over the summer." He said. Technically it was the truth. He spent a good bit of his time reviewing most of his arsenal and making sure he hadn't forgotten any of them over the years.

After a moment the doors slowly swung open to reveal the dining hall. Every face inside turned to look at them. Harry bit back the urge to give Dumbledown the finger and watched McGonagall set a stool down in front of the table the teachers were at and put the sorting hat down on it.

"A Hat?? I'm gonna kill Fred and George! They said we'd have to wrestle a troll!" He heard Ron whisper angrily and chuckled.

The hat belted out its song, and for a moment, Harry could've sworn he saw it look straight at him and give a 'what's up?' motion **(**sort of an inverted nod) One by one, she called out names and sat the hat on them.

"Granger, Hermione!"

Harry patted her on the shoulder as before she made her way to the seat. No sooner did the hat touch her head then it called out, "RAVENCLAW!"

"Way to go, 'Mione." Harry grinned, not really paying attention to other names being called.

"Longbottom, Neville!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

_"I wonder if Fred and George would like a student of their own."_ Harry mused as he watched Neville head to the lions' table

"Malfoy, Draco!"

"SLYTHERN!" The hat said before even touching him, like before.

_"Too bad there's an outside who knows where the Slythen dorm is." _Harry grinned to himself, wondering how many of them he could drive insane before he got caught.

He took a moment to admire the enchanted ceiling before his name was called. The hall suddenly came alive with whispers.

"THAT'S Harry Potter!? Blimey!"

"He's big for a first-year.."

He took the seat and relaxed as the hat was set on his head.

_"Well, well, Mr. Potter. I must say it's good to see you again." _The familiar voice echoed in his mind,

_"Again?? But.."_

"_That your trip through the Gate wouldn't go unnoticed? You forget, the Temporal Gate is a hefty bit of magic, didn't take long for Hogwarts to notice that kind or spell being cast. Speaking of Hogwarts, she asked me to tell you, 'Welcome back'."_

_"So, you haven't told Dumbles about me using it or anything?"_

_"Hah! That prat thinks if he can't do a spell, than no one else could even understand it. Besides,it was more fun to watch him freak after you cut him off at the butt cheeks a few years ago."_

Harry stifled a laugh, "_So, what house shall I be in?"_

_"Well, the headmaster was adamant you be in Gryffindor. Your backbone's definitely gotten some reinforcement over the years, but I don't think it'll work this time. Loyal to friends and those you trust, but you're far cynical and sarcastic to be a 'Puff, Slythren is out of the picture. You'd probably have Snape and half the house huddled in a corner crying before the second term. Only choice I see is.. RAVENCLAW!"_

The Ravenclaw table erupted in cheers as he headed over and took a seat beside Hermione who promptly hugged him. He took a look at the teachers table and noticed McGonagall seemed a tad disappointed. Flitwick simply smiled and nodded to him. Dumbledore, on the other hand, looked like he had just been kicked in the groin before forcing his expression back to grandfather mode.

The remaining students were sorted and Dumbledore went into his spiel, though Harry ignored him and focused on his first true victim: Serverus Snape.

Harry had learned that Snape went against Voldemort only after he killed his mom. The jerk had even begged him to spare Lilly so he could try and get her on the rebound, he didn't even care if Harry and James had died. That alone was cause for him to suffer Harry's wrath.. That and making Harry suffer the revenge he wanted on his dad, soley for being his son.

"..Oddiment, Tweak!" Dumbledore called out and the food appeared. However, no one even got a chance to touch him before a bloodcurdling scream erupted from the teachers table.

All eyes turned to the table and landed on a hyperventilating Snape, whose robes were now a blinding hot pink, covered in teddy bears and lollipops. On the front, in big puffy letters, read "I'm a good 'lil princess." Even his hair was now striped with pink and neon blue. The man was clawing the robes, screaming "Yeeugh!!"

The resulting peal of laughter echoed through the school. Even Flitwick and McGonagall could barely stay in their seats.

At the Griyffindor table, Fred Weasley, trying to breath, noticed Harry calmly tucking a wand into the sleeve of his shirt. The two made eye contact and Harry simply picked up his goblet, "Cheers."

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Feels good to have my muse back for this one.


	10. Chapter 10

**(Insert disclaimer A into fanfic B and twist counterclockwise)**

Speech

_Thought_

**BTW: Harry's previous time is more or less the book timeline.**

**Madsloth:** Oh, don't worry, Harry'll be showing his less than nice side soon enough. And he'll be killing a couple of people as well.

**To all those who liked Snape's first punishment: **takes a bow I promise to try and have you wet yourselves with laughter during this story.

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_"And so it begins." _ Harry said to himself as he woke from his first night in the Ravenclaw tower. He got dressed and smacked the bare foot of Anthony Goldstien, a fellow first year, to wake him up on his way to the common room. The blue and bronze colors on the Raven's common room was surprisingly relaxing, especially the starry ceiling. A definite change from Gryffindor.

As soon as he entered, the first thing he saw was the bushy hair of Hermionie. She was curled up in one of the softer armchairs, her face buried in a copy of Hogwarts: A History. He couldn't help but notice how cute she looked like that and wondered how he could never noticed the last time as he looked at his schedule,

He was roused from his thoughts when Professor Flitwick came into the common room, catching the attention of everyone there, "Ah, Mr. Potter. Professor Dumbledore would like to see you for some reason"

"All right, Professor." Harry said, noticing the concerned look on his friend's face, "Don't worry, 'Mione, I'll be ok. He probably just wants to say hi."

He followed his head of house to the familar gargoyle, _"Always with the lemon drops..surprised he can taste anything else." _Harry thought as he headed up the stairs and into the headmaster's office, although it was currently devoid of his presence at the moment. It was just as he remembered it, with the exception of several if the silver doo-dads looking like they had suddenly malfunctioned. He had to force down a smirk as he counted the damaged ones, "Dumble's little monitors..I figured he'd know I've been gone from the Dursleys' for a while now."

"Quite. Dumbledore went on quite a turn when you suddenly dropped off the map 5 years ago. Was bloody funny to be honest." The hat quipped from it's resting place.

Harry chuckled when a large feathery object suddenly drove into his chest, sending him falling into the chair opposite the desk, "The hell?!" It took him a moment to realize it was none other than Fawkes who gave an energetic trill of greeting.

"Uh, hi, Fawkes." Harry looked at the hat, "Let me guess.."

"Yep,. Remember, phoenixes are highly magical creatures. That and the fact he's been living at Hogwarts so long, he's somewhat attuned to the magic here"

"Guess I shouldn't be surprised." He said as Fawkes settled on his shoulder. The phoenix was his traveling buddy for a good portion of his hunt for the Gate. The bird had, on one more than one occasion, attempted to set him up on a date, but Harry managed to catch him in the act..

He was about to get comfortable when the door opened and Dumbledore came in. Fawkes flew back to his perch before the headmaster made his way to them.

"Ah, Harry. Professor Flitwick said you were waiting for me.." His eyebrows raised up a bit at seeing the boy's condition up close. Any trace of mistreatment was nonexistent This was not good as far as he was concerned; the boy was supposed to be timid, nervous, and willing to trust anyone showing him even a hint of friendship. The one sitting in front of him was anything but.

"Professor? You're staring." Harry said, breaking the man from his thoughts.

"Oh, terribly sorry, Harry." Dumbledore snapped back in his chair slightly, "It's just when we got word that you had vanished from your Aunt's home a few years ago, we were quite worried."

"Actually, I've been staying with my godfather." Harry chirped, silently enjoying watching the old man lose a bit of color in his face, "It's just as well, when I found my parents' will, it turns out I wasn't supposed to live with the Dursleys at all. They were adamant that I not be put with them in they died, but _somebody _blatantly ignored their wishes concerning that."

"Y-yes. Yes, that's quite reprehensible." Dumbledore said, hoping Harry wasn't aware that he was the one who ignored it.

"Anyway, you asked for me?" He asked, poilitly refusing the offered lemon drops.

"Yes, Harry. I'm somewhat concerned about your placing."

"How so, Professor?"

"Well, your mother was a Ravenclaw; I hold nothing against her, but you seem more likely to follow in your father's footsteps. And he was in Gryffindor."

_"So, he's trying to pull the 'like father, like son' card on me." _ Harry gave a casual shrug, "Maybe, but the house put me in Ravenclaw and I don't really mind, to be honest.."

"Come now, my boy. Gryffindor seems more suitable for you." As soon as those words left his mouth, Dumbledore's plans came crashing down even more.

Harry's eyes narrowed, "If I didn't know, Headmaster, I'd think you were implying I'm not smart enough to be in my current house."

The man cursed his poor choice of words and quickly tried to get around it, "Oh come now, Harry.I wouldn't even consider that. I was simply.."

"Headmaster," Harry cut in, "I happen to like being in Ravenclaw, and no one there seems to have a problem with me so far. I don't really appreciate you trying to change that."

"Now Harry.." Dumbledore started as Harry got up, "Be reasonable. Gryffindor would be.."

"Out of the question, Professor! I have no intention of changing houses. And you know you can't perform a resorting unless there's proof I was improperly placed." Harry made his way to the door and gave him one last look, "You know, first impressions count for a lot; and to be honest, I don't think I really like you very much."

With those parting words, Harry left, leaving a new fuming Dumbledore."Dammit!" The man growled, stabbing the desk with his quill.

Only for him to scream in pain when he realized it was his hand he had stabbed.

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This chapter just hit me and I felt I had to put it in, even if it is sort of a filler.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer here...yeah..**

Speech

_Thought._

**A/N: **Just a little warning. I won't be spending a whole lot of time in the first two years. Although the third'll be when things start to really diverge from canon.

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Hedwig gave out a hoot of greeting as she watched Harry enter the owlery. She noticed he was carrying a self-filling quill and scroll and flew down to the window he was heading to.

"Hey, girl. Feel like sending a letter back home? Already been a month and their probably wondering what the hell's happened." A dignified hoot was all he needed before unrolling the scroll and staring to write

''_Hey guys,_

_Sorry 'bout waiting for so long to write, but between Ron Weasley's attempts (rather poor ones too) to get me to see things his way, and Dumbledore, the free time to write this is more thinks to lady luck than anything._

_Anyway, guess I better start off with my house: I'm a Raven this time around. Needless to say, Dumbles wasn't exactly pleased with that. The day after the sorting he tried to talk me into being resorted to Gryffindor. No offense Dad, Sirius, but I'm enjoying the change of scenery. (BTW, I'll send the memory of what I did to Snape during the sorting later. Though one of the Twins found me out, but I was expecting it sooner or later..)_

_xxxxxxxx_

**Flashback:**

"I should've brought a pillow." Harry grumbled as he left History. Binns was a boring as before. He started wondering why it was so important to know the nickname of an 800 year old goblin rebellion when a pair of older students popped up in front of him.

A look at their red hair was all it too to identify them, "Fred and George Weasley. Hogwarts' most notorious pranksters since the Marauders." He grinned at their surprised expressions, "Your reputation precedes you. To what, pray tell, should I attribute this abrupt visit?"

George chuckled, "Well, Harry, if we might call you that..."

"During the sorting, I noticed that you were the only one..."

"Who didn't react to our dear potions teacher's..."

"Unexpected wardrobe change."

"Quite impressive we might add."

"Quite."

Then, as suddenly as they showed up in front of him, they dropped to one knee, "Teach us!" They cried out together.

Harry couldn't help but laugh, "Well, three pranksters are better than one..I'll tell you what, I'll let you in on a few I've been working on if you can help me with something. You know Neville Longbottom?"

Fred nodded, "Yeah, lad seems somewhat.."

"Timid in a few respects."

"Well, I've decided to try and help him out of that, but being in different houses makes that a little tricky. So, I'm asking you to take over in that when I'm unavailable."

The twins looked at each other, "Taking young Longbottom under our wing and learning a some pranks that, if last night was an indication, are quite devastating.." George mused. With that the two Weasleys grabbed Harry's hands and shook vigorously, "It's a deal!"

"If luck smiles on us, young Mr. Longbottom shall be serving detention at our side by Christmas Holiday!" Fred stated.

**Flashback End**

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_Knowing those two, Nev'll probably be making Snape pull his greasy hair out before it's over. Not that I'm complaining, hehehe..._

_Speaking of Snape, you guys'll be happy to know I got to him during my first potions class. I think either he or the old man is already trying to start up some bad blood between me and some of the Slytherins because last time Potions was Gryffindor/Slytherin, but now it's been changed to Raven. As soon as I sat down, the twat went at me._

**Flashback #2**

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"Potter! What would I get if I were to mix asphodel in an infusion of wormwood, Valerian roots, and sopophorous bean?" Snape spat out, his expression telling Harry he had already decide to give him a zero today simply for being a Potter

"It makes a Draught of Living Death" He replied, looking the man directly in the eye. No sooner did he do that than the man took that chance to try and poke into his mind, hoping to find something to humiliate the boy with.

However, as soon as he was in, he was greeted by nothing but darkness.

_"What the hell is this?" _He muttered, thinking something went wrong.

_**"You should know it's not nice to intrude in someone's mind without permission, Snape." **_A voice rumbled out from the abyss, _**"But while you're here, I have a little message for you." **_ A pair of glowing green eyes suddenly appeared in front of him, Avada Kadevra green. They narrowed at him in contempt, _**"I know about you and the Marauders. Get it through that thick head of yours; James Potter and Harry Potter are two completely separate beings. You claim to be the better man yet you're hell-bent on punishing someone who wasn't even BORN when you were a student!" **_The eyes slowly advanced, the green shifting to gleaming red slits as they did. By this time Snape was trying his heardest to get out, but something was keeping him rooted firmly in place, _**"To be honest, I don't really give a shit what you do to me. BUT, if I find out you try, in ANY way, shape, or form, to get me by punishing my friends, you'll learn the hard way that I'm FAR less forgiving than my father. Now...GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HEAD!" **_

Back in class, the students closest to the two noticed them look at each other for a second before Snape's head suddenly snapped back as if he was struck with a vicious punch. Several girls shrieked when he topped backwards. The man was unconscious by the time he hit the floor.

_"Maybe I over did it.." _Harry thought for a moment, _"Nah!"_

**End Flashback**

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_Occulmency is so much fun when you get the hang of it, isn't it? What do you think of my first line of defense? I'm almost hoping Dumbles'll try to poke around'_

Harry cursed when he heard the owlery door open and quickly hid the letter under his robe, only to grin evilly when he was it was Mrs.Norris, Filtch's cat, "_Merlin, I HATE that damnable feline! _Wanna play football, kitty?"

'POOMP!'

"REOWER!!"

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poomp is supposed to be the sound effect of a kick landing, i hope.

So you know, the next chapter is the rest of Harry's letter. you'll get to see what he does to Draco and his cronies next time.

Like I said, healthily application, I never said how healthy :p


	12. Chapter 12

**Dis...ah, feh..**

Speech

_Thought_

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"Surprisingly therapeutic, that was." Harry mused as he watched the unwelcome cat somersault down the stairs before returning to his letter. Hedwig was letting out a barrage of rapid hoots he could only guess was laughter.

"I'm rubbing off on you, Hed. Now, where was I..?" He retrieved his scroll and found his place:

_"Needless to say, Snape's developed a bit of a tic since then. Guess he never expected an 11 year old to more or less manhandle him mentally._

_I should've gotten to know Prof. Flitwick last time. Guy's actually kinda cool. Did you know he likes to listen to muggle music?? I was surprised myself when I headed to his classroom to ask him something._

**Flashback**

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"Professor Flitwick?" Harry said knocking on the door to the charm teacher's class. No answer.

"Hello?" Deciding to check himself, Harry slowly nudged the door open. The moment the door and frame separated, he was greeted by music from inside...

_I cannot take this anymore.._

_Saying everything I've said before.._

_All these words make no sense_

_I find bliss in ignorance.._

_"The hell? I know that song!" _Harry suppressed a laugh as he peeked in. Flitwick was at his desk grading homework, his head bouncing to the beat. The music was coming from what resembled a miniature tripod with a big glass marble on top. The marble itself was flickering with light in time with the tune.

"Fan of rock, Professor?" Harry said once he inched his way up to the desk.

"Who..wha-huh?!" Fliwick nearly fell out of his chair, "H-Harry..w-what..oh uh..."

Harry laughed, "That thing's kinda cool." He looked at the device, "Where'd you get it?"

"Hm? Oh. well..it's something I threw together a few years ago. Took a bit of trial an error to get it to pick up radio waves through all the magic surrounding this place." Flitwick rubbed his head sheepishly.

Harry looked closer at it, "You know, you could probably market this. A lot of muggleborns would probably get a kick out of it."

Flitwick raised an eye, "You think so? I mean, I just thought it up after hearing a group called the Commodores one time. There's something about muggle music..."

**End Flashback**

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_Now that I think about it, I forgot what it was I wanted to ask him...damn!_

_Anyway, I better finish this up. It's almost time for Herbology class and I better get going._

_Catch you later,_

_Harry"_

After rolling it back up, and making sure it wouldn't come unraveled in flight, he handed it off to the snowy owl, "Ok, girl. It's all yours." He watched as Hedwig sailed out over the grounds before heading to the greenhouses.

.Along the way, he caught what sounded like a argument around the corner. Deciding to check it out, he followed the voices and came upon a scene that both exasperated and angered him: Malfoy's goons, Crabbe and Goyle had a dark-skinned girl pinned against the wall while the ferret himself was acting smug about his 'catch'.

"I'm not going to tell you again, Malfoy; get these filthily cretins off me!" The girl snarled, trying her best to wrench herself from their grip. Harry quickly recognized her as Blaise Zabini, another Slytherin first-year.

Malfory simply let his smugness increase, "Why don't you just give up and admit defeat, Zabini. You should feel honored I'm even bothering to make you one of mine." He lightly flicked her chin upwards, "You know I always get what I want. All I have to do is let my father know and.."

"When trolls fly!" She spat, letting out a kick that came close to colliding with Draco's nether region. Instead the toe of her shoe struck him in the stomach, making him double over slightly.

Malfoy's expression quickly changed to anger, "You'll pay for that you little...!" He brought his hand back to 'discipline' her. However his attempt came to a sudden halt when another hand grabbed his in mid-swing.

He whipped his head around to tell off whoever it was only to find himself staring into the face of one Harry Potter. The green of his eyes were glowing brightly, giving them an almost unholy appearance.

"Why don't you pick on someone your own gender, Malfoy?" Harry spoke in an icy tone, his grip on the boy's hand tightening painfully, "Like me!" With those two words, Harry gave Draco's arm a hard tug, pulling him towards the green-eyed wizard in time to see, and feel, his other arm come up, the elbow connecting to deliver a clothesline that sent the blond crashing to the floor.

While Draco lay sprawled out, Harry immediately turned his attention to the minions, who quickly forgot about their prisoner and went for him. First up was Goyle, the larger of the two. Goyle attempted to simply overpower him like Dudley. That failed when Harry sidestepped the attack and spun around to drive his elbow into the side of his face. It seemed for all his girth, Goyle had a glass jaw as he quickly went down in a heap.

At seeing how quickly his friend and boss were put down, Crabbe, quite possibly for the first time in his life, thought for himself for a moment and hesitated attacking. Sadly, the little used organ couldn't handle the strain and shut back down. The boy promptly charged in swinging. Unfortunately for him, his blows were glaringly telegraphed, letting Harry dodge easily. He ducked under a left hook and came up, wrapping his arm around Crabbe's neck in a reverse headlock Crabbe barely had time to register his situation when Harry suddenly threw himself backwards, bringing the larger boy down with him into a DDT. However, instead of the floor, Crabbe collided headfirst into Malfoy's stomach, still incapacitating the former and knocking the wind out of the latter.

"W-When...When my..my..fah.. my fah-father-.." Malfoy gasped/retched from the fetal position he now took.

"You think I give two shites about the inbred wad of grindylow spooge that sired you?" Harry muttered, giving Draco a swift kick to the rear, "Malfoy, as far as I'm concerned, you're nothing more than a spoiled little git who thinks everyone owes you something. And you don't get your way, you threaten them with your daddy. I don't really give a damn, so go ahead and try it. " He then turned his attention to Zabini, who had watched the scene with a mix of shock and mild amazement, "You ok? It's Blaise Zabini, right?" He took a quick moment to look at her,

She rubbed the places on her arms where Malfoy's goons gripped her, "Yeah. Guess it's only proper I thank you." She turned towards the still curled Malfoy, her face twisted into a scowl that she accentuated by stomping hard on her previously intended target, the resulting shriek making Harry cringe himself, "Little rodent tried to dictate that he'd be my first when we got older. He actually tried to order me to save myself for him and him alone! As if I'd even consider hugging the likes of you!" She let lose with another stomp.

When the even louder shriek died down, she turned her attention towards Harry, calming herself down a bit before speaking, taking note of the house colors he had on. "Never thought I'd see a Ravenclaw manhandle one much less three people like you just did, Potter." A slight grin appeared on her lips, but quickly faded when she fixed him with an interrogating stare, "One question, Potter: I'm in Slytherin House, why would you even bother helping me out? We're the least liked house here."

Harry looked at her like she just told a dull joke, "Does it matter? I don't like seeing a girl being treated like that, regardless of the house she's in. Besides, Malfoy represents the side of the wizarding world I detest; arrogant, bigoted, and thinking only purebloods that act like him matter." He took a look at his watch and cursed, "Bollocks! I'm late for class! I'll talk to you later."

Before she could say anything else, he took off down the hall in a dead run. She watched as he skidded around a corner and vanished from her sight. Little did he know, at that moment he became an object of curiosity for the Slytherin.

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Dumbledore slumped down into his chair with a mix of exhaustion and exasperation. He had learned just a few minutes ago that the youngest Malfoy and his two 'associates' had been subjected to a somewhat brutal treatment at the hands of Harry Potter earlier that day. Snape was apocalyptic, demanding that Harry be expelled for an attack that Draco claimed was unprovoked. The boy had already tried to bring his father into it. Throughout it all, he noticed that Harry remained oddly calm, with the exception of a slight annoyance at the loudness of Snape's yelling.

Fortunately, that lasted until Blaise Zabini stepped forward and told her side of things, that Draco was harassing her and Harry had simply intervened. He knew showing any amount of favoritism would be tantamount to suicide for his standing in the community, but he couldn't afford to let Harry leave Hogwarts and his watch. In the end, he managed to settle down all parties, with Draco and Harry each serving a week of detention. Draco for harassing another student, Harry for the physical altercation.

"Harry, I'll like to talk to you for a moment." He called out once everyone else had left, "_I have to do something to bring him back to the path I've laid out for him. First step is to break any association with Slytherin_. Have a seat."

"Merlin, what does he want now?" Harry muttered to himself as he dropped down in one of the armchairs decorating the office.

"Harry, my do realize that your actions today will only make enemies.." The Headmaster started before he was cut off.

"Professor.." Harry started, biting back the urge to be sarcastic about it, "I don't really care who hates me for stopping Malfoy. The git was trying to basically claim a girl for future..'use' and attempted to beat her when she made it clear that she wasn't interested. I would have done it regardless of what house she was in."

"Admirable convictions, I'm sure...but, several of the more light-sided families won't take kindly to the savior of the wizarding world assisting someone from a house with a noticeably dark reputation." Dumbledore said, mixing his words with a subtle compulsion charm. Unfortunately, Harry's Occlumency shields caught and filtered it out.

Harry rolled his eyes, wondering if his body could handle a mojito right about now. "Not this crap again! Headmaster, like I said, I would have done it regardless of the house. And in all honesty, I don't give a fig about what these families think of me for what I did. What I believe in is really no one else's business." Hearing enough, he stood up and headed back out, ignoring Dumbledore's following calls.

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Just wanna say sorry for not putting anything up for a while. Kinda lost the drive to write for a bit, but it's coming back, slowly but surely.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Don't own HP.**

Speech

_Thought_

**Alorkin: **With marshmallows, yum!

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_"For the love of Merlin.." _Harry muttered to himself as he walked into the great hall, feeling several pairs of eyes shifting his way. He didn't have to look to tell that some were admiration and curiosity, while others were just plain disgust. Ever since his assistance to Blaise a few days ago, he began noticing other students turning their attention toward him; most of the Ravens and 'Puffs seemed to be mainly in approval that he'd helped her, especially the female half. Even a few of Slytherin seemed to have taken a more relaxed attitude towards him, although some seemed to be enjoying the way he treated Malfoy more.

The majority of the disgust, however, seemed to come from the Gryffindor house. He'd already been accosted more than once by Ron Weasley and others like him for helping a 'slimy snake'. Of course, they all ended up at Pomfrey's with at least one embarrassing and highly uncomfortable condition, usually and/or a nasty bout of diarrhea coupled with burning hemorrhoids. Since they would be starting it, and non-leathal spells were used against the antagonizers, Harry was able to claim self-defense.

The first couple of times it was reather funny, but now it was just annoying, _"How much of a git can someone be??"_ He thought, rolling his eyes at the glares a few of the lions shot him. Talking a seat at the table, he noticed all the decorations, _"Damn, it's Halloween already? Then that means Stutterman'll be here in a few minutes." _He glanced at one end of the Ravenclaw table, then the other, "Hey, Padma, where's Hermione?"

"That tosser, Ron." She spat the name in disgust, "She found out he was struggling with some lesons and took pity on him. But when she tried to help, he yelled and called her a...I can't even repeat it."

"Pad, what did he call her?"

She took a breath, "He said she was 'nothing more than a frendless little know-it-all m-mud...,"She cringed a bit as if it felt like she had just threw up, "Mudblood bitch... and that she had no business being here.. I think Susan said she saw her run into one of the girls' restrooms."

Harry's eyes narrowed, his irises once again glowing AK green as they focused on the redhead responsible, The students nearby froze at the sight, along with ones at the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor table who were facing towards him. After what he did to Crabbe, Goyle, and Malfoy prior, several students took the glow as an indication that the person responsible was going to be in a world of hurt very soon. However, said target was oblivious, stuffing his face in the process.

He started to get up when, as if on cue, 'Professor' Quirell came barrelling into the hall, screaming, "T-Troll! In the D-D-Dungeon!" Before doing his fake faint.

"Dammit!" He cursed his forgetting about the troll going to the girls restroom last time as the students started screaming. Knowing he didn't have time to waste, Harry deftly made his way out while Dumbledore yelled for silence and started sending everyone back to their dorms.

"Hang on, Hermione.." He said, running down the hall with his wand drawn. Suddenly, he caught a faint scream followed by a crash as he ran up the stairs. "Shit!" He growled and picked up speed.

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Hermione screamed as the troll's club came down a foot away from her, shattering the sink she had been curled up under a short while ago. Deep inside, part of her wondered how her day could have gone so wrong. Less than two hours ago in Charms class, she noticed Ron Weasley struggling to perform the lesson. She had made an attempt to show a bit of kindness and give him a hand; only to get a blast of hurtful insults from the boy. Though, that was mostly forgotten as she scrambled away from another swing.

The troll grunted, slightly dissapointed that the little thing hadn't been squished yet. It frowned as it took yet another swing, not liking the noise it made as the club landed in front of it this time. It grunted again as it stared down at the little thing before raising its club one more time.

"REDUCTO!" Both Hermione and the troll jumped as the spell slammed into the club, shattering it. Within seconds, a call of "Over here, you ugly bastard!" Drew it's attention in time for another Reductor curse to strike the troll in the face, causing it to roar in pain.

Hermione looked at the entrance and her eyes widened to see Harry standing in the doorway before he began firing off curses at the lumbering brute as he made his way over to her. While troll skins give them a measure of protection against some spells, it doesn't quite help against a pissed-off wizard using it to vent some of his anger. It let out another howl when a cutting curse struck its knee and forced it down, "Time to end this. _Be easier to just take you down, but fortunately for you, I have more important things to worry about. _Aquamenti!"

The troll hollered again, this time in shock as the blast of water covered it from head to toe. However, it had little time to voice its upset before Harry called out, "Glacius Maximo!" Freezing it where it stood under a thick layer of ice.

"You all right?" He asked, holding out a hand for her, when she gratefully took, albeit shakily.

"I think so..Harry, what are you doing here??"

He looked at her as if it was obvious, "I came to help a friend out, what else?"

She started to say something, but he quickly answered the question he knew she was going to ask, "Yes, Hermione, I said 'friend', because that's what you are." Hee paused a moment to wipe one of the drying tears off her face, "That's the gist, isn't it? You were scared of not fitting in and the prick made it feel like your fears were being confirmed."

She glanced at the floor, looking a little uneasy until she felt an arm around her shoulder. " 'Mione, there's nothing wrong with being as smart as you are as long as you don't lord it over them. People who can't handle that aren't really worth worrying over. Besides, Ronald Weasley is the classic example of a complete and utter wanker. And even then he does a pretty sorry job of it." He grinned as she stifled a slight giggle, "Anyway, we better head to the Ravenclaw tower before we get spotted."

The duo quickly made their way out down the hall in the direction of the Ravenclaw dorms. After a minute, Hermione glanced back, "Wait..shouldn't we tell a teacher about..?" .

Harry shook his head, "It'll be a while before the ice starts to melt, and by then they''ll more than likely find it. Besides, the only thing I'm concerned about right now is making sure you're ok." At that, Hermione felt her heart lighten, before she suddenly wrapped her arms around him, "Thank you, Harry."

"However," His expression hardened, "I still have a bone to pick with 'Red'"

"Harry, no..he's not worth it..."

"And let him get away with that? Oh, hell no! " the glow had returned slightly as they finally made it back to the common room entrance, "What Mr. Weasley fails to realize is that you do NOT treat a friend of Harry Potter's like that without suffering the consequences."

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The next morning was not kind to the youngest male Weasley. A strange sensation caused him to wake up and realize that it was a rather large spider on his face, causing him to shriek loudly, waking up his dorm mates in time to be treated to the sight of him flailing around madly, as well as wetting himself in abject terror. However, this early morning entertainment was short-lived before he slammed into the wall, the spider and his panic having impaired his vision, and knocking him cross-eyed for a few minutes.

The result was the majority of Gryffindors torn between pitying him and laughing themselves sick, the twins among them. That and Percy yelling at him for acting like he did, especially after Dean Thomas discovered the 'spider' was just a plush toy, attached to Ron's face with a suction cup.

Of course, through all this, none of them took note of the green-eyed, raven haired boy quietly making his way out through the common room entrance.

_"_Amazing what a transfigured pillow can do." He chuckled malevolently to himself as the door closed behind him

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Tried to flesh out Hermione a bit on this chapter, hope it worked

If Harry seems kinda cruel in how he delt with Ron....like it said at the beginning, this Harry is vindictive and mainly motivated by revenge: against Voldamort because he killed his parents, Dumbledore for trying to use him and the Weasleys (sans twins) for being in on it and interested in him for his money. He doesn't really give a damn about the wizarding world in general outside of his friends.

Next time: A trip down memory lane for Harry and Dumbledore attempts to truely meddle in his life.


	14. Chapter 14

**Uh..yeah, disclaimer here..so..yeah..Rowling owns, not me.**

Speech

_Thought_

**morriganscrow**: *Takes a bow* You're welcome :)

Note: Since I don't really feel like typing 'Flashback" a bunch of times, they'll be bordered by '**XXXXXXX**' so you'll know when they are.

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Hedwig let out a contented snuffle from her perch on the back of the armchair Harry was slumped in, the two of them engrossed in an H.P. Lovecraft novel in the Ravenclaw common room. He had developed a fondness for the books before and made sure to get up a collection this time. Most of the students were attending classes or spending their free period outside, leaving the room silent aside from the crackling of the fire and faint page turning from the other remaining raven on the opposite side of the room..

"I hear ya, Hed." He grinned, "Don't get too many chances like this. Feels good to have a bit of peace and quiet.." His attention turned back to the book, only to find himself cursing lightly, "Dammit...I would have to remember that..."

Sensing that her friend and master was upset about something, the snowy owl quickly hopped to his arm and hooted softly, her eyes showing visible concern.

"I'm all right, girl. Just.." He looked to make sure the other person wasn't paying attention, "Just remembering it was a day like this last time when I learned just what kind of person the Weaselette was...that's all.."

Thankfully, during their time together, she had come to learn about Harry's previous life since she had his trust, so it was no surprise to him when she gave another soft hoot, as if asking, 'Care to talk about it?'

Harry sighed. Even though he had told his parents, Sirius, and Remus the general story of what happened, he had never really gone into detail about things, figuring it wasn't important. He looked at the owl who hooted again. "All right.."He closed his eyes, "It was about a week after I had turned twenty. She had moved in with me at Grimmauld place a couple of months prior and I had popped THE question the day before. I was coming home from training to get my Dark Arts Defense major.."

He cocked his eye at Hedwig's slightly surprised hoot, "Yes, I was planning to try and get a job at Hogwarts as the Defense teacher. Anyway, I was coming home, figuring i'd just kick back and relax some when I suddenly heard yelling...."

**XXXXXXXX**

"Get away from me, you nutcase!" Ginny's voice cried out from inside, causing Harry's 'hero mode' to kick in. Without a second thought, he slammed the door open, wand in hand.

"Ginny! What hap...pened..?" He was greeting by a sight he never even began to imagine. Ginny was pinned against the wall, looking like she had been hit with several different hexes; her nose had grown to the size of a small pumpkin, complete with a pimple on the end to make the stem. Both ear and nose hair trailed out a good two feet and two large 'tusks' protruded from her mouth. All in all, the scene would have been rather hilarious had it not been for the fact that Luna Lovegood's wand was pressed against her throat.

"L-Luna, what the hell..??" Was all he could get out before seeing the blonde's expression. The normally dreamy look in her eyes was nonexistant, replaced with unabated anger. Her face carried nothing but contempt and disgust, all of it directed at the redhead in front of her.

"Hello, Harry." She replied, seriousness lacing her voice, "No doubt you're wanting an explanation."

"Would be nice!" He said, his grip on the wand tightening.

Luna jerked her head to the table, "Tell me if the color in that vial looks familiar. I was coming to return the book I had borrowed when I overheard her talking to her mother,. She said something about how her mom was right about 'upping the dosage to make him propose'." She pressed the wand tip into the Weasley's jugular. "Didn't take much more for me to guess what she meant."

He looked over to see a half empty one beside an opened butterbeer. As soon as he saw the pale pink liquid remaining inside, he felt his stomach drop and his blood run cold when he recognized it: Amortentia.

"Ginny..why is there a love potion here..?" He asked shakily, part of him praying it wasn't what it was looking to be. It wasn't a secret as to how much he despised them, a well as anybody who would use one.

The redhead blanched, "It wasn't..!" She started, before Luna fixed her an icy glare.

"I suggest you tell the truth, Weasley." Her voice laced with steel, "Otherwise my next hexes won't be so benevolent."

**XXXXXXXX**

"Now that I think about it; Luna actually looked kinda hot when she was pissed like that." Harry said, ignoring the owl's slightly teasing hoot, "Needless to say, it didn't take her long to get Ginny to spill the beans. She admitted that she had started slipping it to me a couple of weeks into my sixth year; seems she was put off that I hadn't started falling for her after the DoM, so she decided to ..'help me realize my love for her' " His expression darkened at the thought...

**XXXXXXXX**

"Harry.." Ginny pleaded, "I had to..it was the only way you'd see that we were meant to be together." Her confidence slowly returning, (that or she was deluded enough to think he'd agree with her regardless), she let out a somewhat condescending chuckle, "I mean, you're Harry Potter, 'The Boy-Who-Lived'! You're the prefect catch!"

By this time, he had his back to them, "So that's it; me being famous was all that really mattered? And Molly was in on it too?"

Mistaking his tone for simple questioning, she smiled and nodded, "She and daddy are already making up plans for the wedding!" If she had been paying attention, she would have noticed Luna slowly backing away from the young man, instead she kept going, "I'm so glad you see things my way, honey. Now, aren't you going to do something about 'Loony' Lovegood here?" She shot her a smug look, "She attacked your fiance, after...urk!"

She was cut off abruptly by Harry's hand as it latched onto her neck, his face controrted in a fury that would've made Voldemort proud, "You BITCH!" He hissed, his eyes darkening as he slammed her back against the wall, "Was anybody else was in on it?! TELL ME!"

"I..I can't" Ginny yelped, "Mum would never let me hear the end..!" She was cut off again as Harry, his magic amplifying his strength a bit, slammed her back against the wall, knocking the wind out of her

"Your mother'll be the least of your worries if you don't start talking, Weasley.." He said in a cold tone

"Dum...Dumbledore!" She gasped/screamed. This was a side of Harry even made Luna shudder, "He said I could have you if we gave you some semblance of a family..." It was getting hard for her to talk as anger had caused his grip to tighten a bit, " H-He. *cough* He provided us w-with the...the potions!"

At those words, Harry felt his world caving in. Dumbledore? The man he saw as a grandfather, the person he had looked up to the most ever since he learned he was a wizard..

He was behind this?

"Hang on.." Luna stared her in the eye, "What do you mean "provided _us'_? You're not simply referring to your family in general, are you?"

"Ron..." Ginny replied, "He was given love potions too..to use on Granger..!" She gave a muffled screech as Harry's grip tightened until it was strangling her.

"What?!" He snapped, loosing just enough to let her breath but still keeping a tight hold on her, "Ron..used them too..?"

She nodded, fear motivating her now more than anything, "Dumbledore paid him to make friends with you..Granger was an added incentive. Mum told him the love potion was enough, but he wanted her to obey absolutely. He started adding a Subjugation Draught a couple months ago..."

"A what??" Luna paled herself this time, "That's one of the strongest enslavement potions there is! Any longer than a few days and any free will is permanently wiped! That stupid shit's turned her into little more than a puppet now! Where'd he get it?"

"How should I know?!" Ginny yelped, "I didn't thnk he even knew what the word meant..!"

It was that moment that Harry's hand suddenly release its grip on the girl's neck, letting her slump down and cough for air. They both looked at him, only to see his head slumped down, hair obscuring his face.

"Harry..?" Luna tentatively reached out.

"Five minutes." He said, his voice cold and unnerving.

"Huh?" Ginny reeled when his head snapped up, staring at her with nothing but hatred.

"That's how long you have to pack and get the hell out of my house."

"What?? H-honey, you can't be..."

"Shut it!" He snapped, "I want nothing more to do with you!" He grabbed her hand and with a yank, pulled the engagement ring off her finger before tossing it to Luna, "Feel free to hock that."

"No!" The redhead shrieked angrily, "You can't do this to me!"

He leveled his own wand at her face, the tip glowing a cold blue "You have four minutes, thirty seconds left. After that, you will no longer be welcome in this house and I burn whatever's left, so I suggest you get moving."

**XXXXXXXX**

"She kept protesting at first, until I asked Luna to retrieve some of her clothes. That was the first time ever used that old fireplace; her underwear made excellent kindling."

Hedwig hooted in what seemed to be a mix of light scolding and amusement. By now the other student had left and they were alone, the dying flame the only thing illuminating the room.

"Before she finally left, though, I told her to get her family and the old fart and meet me at Gringott's the next day, along with a few others....Three of them owed me a debt for saving their hides, and I decided I was going to cash in. Big time."

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Dumbledore ran a hand through his beard in frustration; nothing was going right in regards to his molding of 'the Boy-Who-Lived'. The first term wasn't even over and already a decade of planning had come unraveled.

"I have to get him back on the proper path if he's to be the hero the wizarding world requires to defeat The Dark Lord." He muttered to himself, before a snort from the shelves broke his thoughts.

"And what exactly makes you think he'd even want to be this 'hero'? seems to be enjoying himself just the way he is." The Sorting Hat commented.

"That will have to be rectified. He's become far too independent and powerful to allow to continue in this manner." The aging wizard said matter-of-factly, "No doubt from these past five years living with his godfather, Sirius Black, according to what he said. Putting him back with the Dursley's this summer will hopefully break him of those unwanted habits"

"Who are you to decide that?" The hat snapped, **(**Just gonna call the hat 'S.H. after this.**)** "You fail to realize that that he may have been adopted by Mr. Black. If so, then you'll be no better than a kidnapper if you try."

Dumbledore waved his hand dismissively, "The Ministry will not allow the savior of the wizarding world to live with someone of questionable creditenals; and given Black's past, that should not be difficult to prove."

S.H glared, "I'm warning you, Dumbledore. You've already been been punished for interfering with his parent's will; or have you already forgotten?" He watched the headmaster freeze momentarily "I've seen inside his mind, Headmaster. I will not tell you his secrets, but I will say this: Harry James Potter does not forget, nor does he forgive. Especially on transgressions against those he cares about. You are already treading on thin ice as it is."

He looked on in silence for a moment before exhaling, "This is for the greater good. For now, there is the matter of where he will be for the holidays that start next week. Harry must be kept in the Light." He turned toward the office fireplace and threw in a pinch of Floo powder before calling out, "The Burrow!"

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Drama never really was my strong suit, but. Hope it works.

Next time: more memories and thoughts from others, and Harry reveals a few things that went on during the half-decade he was off the map.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: still think Rowlin FUBARed royally with HBP and DH.**

Speech

_Thought_

Just so you know, there'll be more '**XXXXXX' **here for flashbacks.

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"All right, where was I?" Harry muttered, Hedwig resting on his shoulder. People had started filing the common room so they made themselves scarce to continue his story, finding a quiet corner of the library where he was able to resume the story without someone bothering them.

"Oh yeah. I had given Ginny the boot. Well, after that, I don't really remember which I was more: pissed or upset. Either way, Luna stuck around to give me someone I could talk, and rant, to. As I let it out, I found myself wanting to make them pay, normally, I would just sever ties with someone if they doublecrossed me on something, but that was more on issues of money or something...these were people I looked as family..and they were plotting away the whole time...to me, that was something they had to pay for."

Hedwig let out an impatient snort from her seat on the table, clicking her beak as if telling him to get to the bank..

"I'm getting to it, keep your down on." He retorted, "Anyway, I got up early and get to Gringott's before they did. The main reason I picked the bank was 'cause goblins like to think ahead. They had a special room in that bank that was perfect for what I wanted. I got there and after a while, they, minus Bill and Charlie who were still out of the country, and Percy, who had still cut ties with them as far as I knew, all arrived and started chowing down on the tea and sandwiches I asked the goblins to set out, thoroughly laced with Veritaserum, of course."

Hedwig swivled her head in disapproval.

"I wasn't going to let them lie their way out of it. Like I said, they owed me, and I was going to collect. After getting some answers, of course."

**XXXXXXXX**

"Hm, looks like Ron made Hermione stay home. Guess he should be considered lucky. Would've given me more incentive to bust his bead in." Harry muttered, making Griphook chortle slightly as they watched through the one-way mirror decorating the room. Ever since Harry's sixth year, Dumbledore had been forced to use a walking cane after his fall from the tower after the fake killing curse Snape had used threw him off. Though his magic managed to cushion the impact enough to let him survive, it was still hard enough to do sufficient damage.'

"You know the headmaster will try to take that knowledge away from you, Harry." The goblin said.

"Key word: 'try'." Harry's face darkened, "He'll be in for a nasty surprise if he does." With that, he made his way to the entrance. The loud squeak of hinges alerting them to his presence.

"Harry James Potter!" Molly screeched, causing Harry's eye to twitch from the sheer volume, "What in Merlin's name are you thinking, young man! Ginny came running home yesterday, crying that you came home with that Lovegood girl in your arms and ran her out! You have some explaining to do!"

Harry laughed in response, a cold, joyless laugh that put even Dumbledore on edge, "Not a bad story, Gineva" He continued his way to the front of the room, "I'd probably be panicking right about now if I didn't already know you were a lying little skag!"

"Watch what you say about my sister, Potter!" Ron snarled, drawing this wand, "Stupify!"

However instead of the usual jet of red light, the wands clattered to the floor as the redheads cried out in pain,.

Harry smirked, "Guess I should have waned you. Then again, it was kinda funny" He looked toward the mirror and nodded. Instantly the sounds of locks clicking could be heard from the only entrance,

Dumbledore stared at him, "Harry, what has gotten into you?" He asked, using his grandfather tone.

"You think I don't know!?" He snapped, " She told me all about how I was supposed to be her 'reward' if her family took me in, about the love potions..ones YOU paid for!" He glared at Molly and Arthur, "Potions that you two knew about, and FUCKING ALLOWED! I want answers, dammit!"

"I..I'm sorry Harry..." Dumbledore whispered. "I'm sorry, but you can't be allowed to know," He quietly aimed his wand at Harry, "It's for your own good. Obliviate..."

Like Ron, Dumbledore dropped his wand as he screamed in pain.

"Didn't think you'd stoop that low, Headmaster." Harry spat as he scooped up all three wands, "Then again, I shouldn't be surprised, should I?"

"What..what kind of magic are you using to do this?" The elderly man gasped, still holding his arm.

"This room is known as a Feedback Chamber. The goblins made a few of them to deal with wizards that thought they could do whatever they wanted in the bank." He smirked evilly, feeling a small bit of satisfaction that the old man was actually shocked, "Any non-goblin magic used in this room will rebound back on the caster and...well, you and Ronald are experiencing first hand what'll happen. That includes Occlumency and Ligillimency, So I wouldn't advise it, unless you want the mother of all migraines."

"Why are you doing this, Harry?" Aurthur asked pleadingly, "We were just doing what's best..." He was cut off by Harry's glare.

"BULLSHIT!" He roared, eyes lit up like a killing curse, "How the hell is dosing me with a bloody love potion 'best for me'? Or paying someone to be my friend, huh? Tell me!"

"It..it was so we could keep you from being lured to anything considered dark!" The Wesley patriarch blurted out, before he clamped a hand over his mouth in shock.

"You should have checked that food you all wolfed down. Too bad for you, Veritaserum is tasteless and odorless."

Everyone, except for the twins, who had gobsmacked expressions, looked at him in a mixture of shock and anger.

"Now, since the potion still has.." He looked at his watch, "Twenty-seven minutes before it wears off, so let's have a chat. And don't bother trying to fight it or leave, you all ate enough to make even Rita Skeeter tell the truth, and this room is locked from the outside until I give the word.." His smirk widened a bit at the defeated looks on the majority of the group.

The twins, however, looked more like they were still trying to piece things together. Harry faced them both,taking note of their confused looks, "You two didn't know what the rest of your family was pulling, did you?"

"Honestly, Harry, we had no idea." George shook his head vigorously.

"Hell, we were kinda surprised you went for her in the first place. You struck us as the kinda guy who likes the brainy gals." Fred added, ignoring the glare their sister was giving them. "Actually I had money down that you'd hook up with Luna or Hermione. Lee bet you'd get them both."

Harry laughed softly, knowing it was impossible for any of them to lie right now, "Thanks, guys." He turn his attention back to the others, "Let's have a recap; your daughter, who apparently thinks me being the bloody BWL is the only important thing, dosed me with an illegal love potion that her parents, one of whom is a ministry employee, not only knew about, but actually approved of."

As he spoke, Harry slowly made his way around them, circling like a wolf before the kill. "What's more surprising is the fact they allowed their youngest son, someone I thought was my friend...at least until I learned he was being paid to be it, to add a loyalty potion, something who's use automatically earns a year in Azkaban from what I've been told, to the Amortentia he was dosing one Hermione Granger with. A mixture that's killed her free will by now I might add." His still bubbling anger caused his voice to emulate the deceased Dark Lord, making them all shudder.

Especially Dumbledore; his current inability to use magic left him powerless. That was puncuated by the fist rammed into his gut. The shocked sounds of the others echoed through the room

"Love potions, YOU supplied, Dumbledore.." Harry hissed as the old man dropped to his knees, gasping, "What the hell made you think you had the right to 'give' me to her?!"

"Several of the purebloods felt it would have been an honor to have the Boy-Who-Lived marry into their families." He coughed, "Ginny was already enamored with you. Plus I felt the Weasleys' modest lifestyle would keep you humble and in the light so you wouldn't be tempted by Voldemort."

"And yet it never crossed your mind to even talk to me about it, even though you knew I didn't like him anyway, you condescending FUCK!" He spat, staring down at him, "If that's the case, then why the hell did you keep up with the act? My job was done and you could have just let me go, let me life my own life"

"Af...after your victory, you were considered a national treasure, I felt it was best to ensure that you remain the symbol everyone now saw you as. It was essential to prevent any chance of your power going to your head. You had to be handled in the proper way.."

Harry began muttering to him self before finally shaking his head, "So you think, lying, drugging, and basically playing me, is 'proper handling'??" He let out another pissed laugh, "You know, considering what you've pulled so far, it makes me wonder what other shit you pulled. Like the Dursleys, now that I think about it; my first acceptance letter was addressed to 'under the cupboard. And when we went to get Slughorn, you said you knew they disliked me"

Dumbledore shook for a moment as he tried to fight the potion, but failed, "They were paid to keep you down...so you'd be meek and pliable when you finally came to Hogwarts."

"Paid..? You paid those pieces of garbage to make me miserable!?" He had to fight the urge to shatter the tea kettle upside the man's head, "What else? Answer me.." Harry gripped the headmaster's wand in both hands and started to bend it, "Or your precious Elder Wand becomes kindling."

All the color drained from Dumbledore's, "No! Don't! I..I'll tell....the Philosopher's Stone..I..I knew Quirrell was working for Voldemort..and that Ginny was being possessed by the fragment in the diary..I felt they would be good tests to strengthen you..."

"Tests? TESTS!? You bastard, and what would have happened if I failed? Did you ever put that into account??" He was answered with silence. "Obviously not. I guess the tournament was another test."

"Harry..you must understand, it..it was all to help you prepare for your ineviable confrontation.."

"Oh, that's a big difference, you wanted to help.." The glow, that had faded a bit through the discussion, blazed again, "Then why the hell didn't you just TRAIN me!?" Harry took a few deep breaths before facing them as a whole, checking his watch, "Looks like only fifteen minutes until the serum wears off, so I'm gonna get to the real reason I called you here, Three of you owe me a wizard-debt that I'm calling. Authur for the warning, Ronald for the wine, and Gineva for the chamber." He found himself enjoying the way the guilty half of the family paled. "It's time you three paid up."

"Harry..think about what you're doing.." Dumbledore pleaded.

"Oh, I am, Professor. And I believe I'm going to enjoy this greatly. First off, _Ronald, _" He turned his attention to the family's youngest male, "What possessed you to do that to Hermione? She was your friend, you dumb shit!"

Ron gritted his teeth, trying to fight it, "At..at first I didn't really care 'cause she wasn't even a halfbood, then I learned how well she was doing and decided she'd be my ticket to getting a job I'd want."

"So you just saw her as a way to get easy grades..."

"Y-yes...during the tournament.." He stared at Harry with absolute loathing, "I still say you did it yourself for the attention..I saw you two starting to get close and I'd be damned if I'd let you get a hold of something I'd already called, and the fact she was finally getting some tits..." He cowed back a bit at the scowl his ex-friend shot at him, as well as the glares he was getting from the twins, "I went to Dumbledore and demanded Granger get dosed as well..mainly so you couldn't have her...I dated Brown in our sixth year so the Amortentia would make her jealous and let it work better faster. Mum nd Dad warned me it could backfire, but I wanted full obsession from the little mudblood", "He was too busy feeling almost proud of himself to notice Harry grabbing the pot, "The loyalty potion was mainly so she'd agree to anything I wanted to do to her...."

*SMASH!"

"RON!" Molly screamed as Harry promptly busted the ceramic teapot against his face, sending him crashing to the floor and reducing his face to a bloody mess.

"Say that word around me again, Weasley, and I'll make sure you eat through a straw the rest of your miserable life." The cold sneer of his face told them it wasn't an idle threat. "Now, your debt. Ronald Weasley, are to take a vow of abstinence." He grinned in satisfaction as Molly explained it to her still-conscious son while tending to his injuries. Deep down, he had known all Ron really cared about was food, Quiddich, and girls. But till now, he figured that was just him.

"No!" He half-yelled/groaned, "You can't do that...!"

"I could always order you to become a eunuch, but this way I know you'll suffer. Abstinence, that means you will not have sexual contact in ANY way, shape or form with Hermione or any other woman as long as she's under the effects of the Subjugation Draught. And since your arrogance and incompetence have ensured it's permanent, I'm afraid you're up shit creek without even a boat. You will also not order her to perform any sexual act of any sort with another guy or gal as long as she is under the effects. So mote it be."

"NOO! NO!" Ron screeched as he felt his magic agree to the debt. "You can't do this to me!" He lunged at Harry, only to be snatched by a frowning Fred and George before they lobbed him back into his seat.

"Ron, do yourself a favor and use your damn head!"" George snapped.

"Aye, should be grateful he's willing to let you walk out under your own power" Fred added, firmly slapping his brother upside the head

"Thank you, gentlemen." Harry said, before turning to their sister, "Gineva, your debt; you will stay away from me for the rest of your life, I want nothing more to do with you. That means no using friends, family, or any other means to get to me or try to use love potion on me ever again. So mote it be." He looked at both of the youngest Weasleys as Ginny began throwing a temper tantrum when her magic accepted.

"Now you.." He stared Aurthur dead in the eye, "You know, you're the last person I'd expect to be this kind of scum. Ah well, I've een wrong before."

"Harry...Harry, please.." Aruthur pleaded, "We did it for your own good..."

"What about Hermione's own good, you bastard!" Harry snapped, "You and your wife knew, allowed and bloody approved of what they were doing! You're no better than that withered asshole beside you!"

"HARRY POTTER! HOW DARE YOU..." Molly screamed.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He roared, quickly silencing the Weasley matriarch, "You're no better!" Turning his attention back to her husband, he took a deep breath, "Your debt, Aurthur Weasley. You will go to Auror Shacklebolt and confess to what you've done. You will tell him everything you know, and you will tell the complete and unaltered truth You will tell him everything Dumbledore, Molly, Ron and Ginny did as well." By this time, everyone, minus the twins, who were glaring daggers at their family and the headmaster, was literally shaking in their boots as he finished up with "So mote it be".

"Sorry I had to do this, Gred, Forge, but I trusted them and they abused it."

"Don't be, mate." Fred replied, giving his parents look of disgust.

"If anything,we should be apologizing for not seeing it sooner." George was having a hard time resisting the urge to strike them both.

"Well, at least you two are innocent." He looked at his watch, "It'll be wearing off momentarily, so before I leave, one last thing." He looked a Dumbledore, a cruel smile on his face, "Just in case you're arrogant enough to think you can up and erase all our memories of this..." He held up the Elder Wand and snapped it in half before the old man's eyes.

The headmaster's sceam echoed throughout the bank.

**XXXXXXXX**

"Learned a couple days later the Twins tore their parents and siblings a new one over it before announcing they were dropping the Weasley name for good. Only downside was they had to change the name of their store."

Hedwig let out an inquisitive hoot.

"They kept trying new names every so often in an attempt to get a good one. Don't really remember what they finally settled" He shrugged, "After that, I told the few I could trust; the twins, Luna, Neville..I let them know I was leaving the country for a while. I gave my word I'd come back before long. With that, I sold everything of value in the house. Dumbledore still had the Fidelius charm on it, so I emptied the place and torched it so he couldn't just waltz in. A gallon of gasoline, a few fire wards to ensure it was the only thing that burned, and Number 12 Grummauld place was no more. All the money from what was sold went towards letting me do some globetrotting. It was during a my travels that I started picking up hints about the Gate and what it could allow. The promise of going back in time...it was then I realized, if it could be done, I could prevent the damage from being done in the first place, even change a few fates. That was my mission for the next five decades.."

Hedwig gave what was the owl equivilant of a low whistle.

Harry laughed softly, "This time, I'm not the timid, downtrodden little boy they think they can make do whatever they want. As Bill Murray once said, 'I'm not gonna live by their rules any more'."

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I apologize for leaving out a few things I said this chapter would have. Got carried away with Harry ripping into Dumbledore and the others. I promise next chapter'll have the reactions from others and the like.

I know Harry was borderline evil in this chapter, but wouldn't you want someone you considered family to suffer a little after learning they were just using you all these years? Plus I wanted to let you meet his less-than-friendly side.

As for those who still keep calling for longer chapters; if I said it once, I said it a hundred times: I work better with short chapters. Just don't have the ability to do these 20-30k word chapters some other writers do. They can work with it, I can't. So, please, leave me alone about it.


	16. Chapter 16

**The story was my idea, the characters are Rowling's, though**

Speech

_Thought_

Need some suggestions as to how Harry'll deal with Quirrell. what do you think: take him out canon style, or a little more violently?

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"Um, Harry?"

"Hm...?" Came the sleepy reply as the boy in question sat across from Hermione at breakfast, absentmindedly trying to smooth out the bedhead he still had.

"Well," There was a slightly shy undertone in her voice, "My Mum and Dad told me they knew your parents and they were wondering if you'd like to come over for Christmas."

"Cool." After a moment he replied, "Say, why don't you guys come over to mine? There's plenty of room. Besides, my parents have been wanting to see yours again for a while. Magical paintings, remember?" He added when she took on a brief confused look. After a nod of conformation, he began scanning the table. Sadly, nothing seemed to attract his attention, "I'll be back in a few minutes," He said as he got up, "Gonna go pillage the other tables."

Flitwick chuckled to himself as he watched the boy head over to the Hufflepuff table. Even from his chair he could see him trying to give a now blushing Susan Bones puppy-dog eyes for the stack of blueberry pancakes beside her, "That boy is defiantly not your average student."

"I'll second that." Sprout said, ignoring the sudden squeak her 'Puff let out from the kiss Harry planted on her cheek after she surrendered the plate, nor the following giggles from the surrounding girls, "Sometimes he acts like James, sometimes Lily; but then there's other times when...well, he seems to be as un-eleven-year-old-boy as you can get; like when the first mail delivery of the year?"

McGonagall nearly choked on her tea at that, "Was it necessary to remind me, Pomina? Those witches have absolutely no shame!"

Things had started off smoothly at first that day; a few owls arrived, delivering their usual letters from home and copies of that day's Daily Prophet. It wasn't hard for to spot the bright white owl that belonged to Harry. It seemed normal, at least until a great swarm came in and made a beeline straight for him.

**XXXXXXXX**

"You gotta be kidding me.." He muttered as a small sea of feathers stood on the table in front of him, hooting in a rather demanding way. Even with Hermione's help it took a good ten minutes to get all the letters off.

She couldn't help but chuckle, "What do you expect, Harry? You are a celebrity, after all?"

"Insensitive bastards.." He muttered as he looked at a letter singing his praises for 'ridding them of the evil' before tearing it to pieces, "You'd think they'd take into consideration that I was orphaned right before that happened." A hand on his shoulder brought him out of his slight funk.

"Just ignore them, Harry." Hermione said, "Their simply glad he's gone."

"I guess...WHAT THE HELL?!" He hollered, tossing a piece of paper to the table like it was roadkill, "That's just wrong!!"

There soon folowed scandalized and startled yelps from the students sitting beside him.

"Mr. Potter!" McGonagall snapped, "What is the meaning of this outburst!?

"See for yourself!" He replied, pointing to the paper. "You pick it up, I feel like I've just been violated!"

Without another word, both she and Flitwick got up and headed to the Ravenclaw table while Harry was backing up from it.

"Oh my.." Was all the charms teacher could say as he he blushed scarlet at the paper, which turned out to be a photo of a somewhat attractive and mostly nude witch posing in rather lewd fashion.

"Disgraceful! Scandalous!" McGonagall sputtered, looking repulsed. Unfortunately for her sense of decency, a few more photos were found, most were innocent; mainly winking and blowing kisses along, but a handful were similar to the first, along with some graphic letters.

"That's just wrong..!" Harry whimpered, "they all gotta be at least 16-17 years old. I'm a minor, for Pete's sake!"

**XXXXXXXX**

"Ashamed to admit I was torn between envy and pity at his predicament." Flitwick said sheepishly

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"No way, Harry! get your own pancakes" Neville said, pulling his stack away from Harry. The twins, sitting on either side of him, did the same with the ones nearest them.

"Aw, you guys suck!" Came the retort.

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"His arrogance is even worse than his father's.." Snape growled. The other teachers simply rolled their eyes.

Sprout shook her head, "You know, Severus, if you actually tried being civil to the boy, you'd learn he's somewhat different than James; a man that, need I remind you, you have held a grudge against even after he left this world ten years ago,"

"Ignore him, Pomina." Flitwick said, "The man's as stubborn as Filch"

The potions expert simply scowled.

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"Oh yeah, Harry. Mum owled us to let you know she and Dad would pick you at the platform." George piped up.

"Yeah, kinda surprised you'd be interested in wanting to spend the holidays at our place." Fred added.

Harry nearly dropped the pile of bacon he managed to nick, "W-What are you talking about?"

George looked at him, "Don't you remember, mate? She said the headmaster flooed her a couple days ago and told her you said you didn't wanna spend Christmas cooped up in the castle."

_"Son of a bitch! That aging bastard's got a lotta gall to pull this shit! _Guys, I never said anything like that."

The twins looked up in puzzlement, "You didn't?"

Harry shook his head, "I've been living with my godfather for the last six years, remember? I said it a few days after I got here when people decided to swarm me with questions about where I had been the whole time. Nothing personal, but besides, I don't really know the rest of your family all that well." He shot a glance over to Ron, "And..well, I find it hard to tolerate your younger brother's presence."

"Understandable, mate." Fred responded. Both of them had heard about the way the youngest male Weasley had treated Hermione after her attempt to be helpful. It didn't take long for him to lose points with quite a few of his fellow Gryffindors.

"Ronald's been....less than a treat to be around after we learned what he did." George said, noticing the glare their brother was trying to burn into Harry, "But why would Dumbledore tell her you wanted to come if you never said it in the first place?"

Harry decided it was best to err on the side of caution, "Maybe he just misunderstood something." He said, "Just let your mom know and she'll probably clear it up." After getting comfirmation from the twins, he made his way back to his own table. As he did, however, he shot a brief glare at the old man, _"You're either arrogant as hell, or just plain senile, Dumbledore, if you think you can decide for me just like that."_

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Dumbledore sighed to himself in contentment; before long, the Weasleys would have Harry in their home and be able to impress upon him to see things his way. Soon, things would be the way they should and the prophecised savior would be back under his guidance. Unfortunately, he never heard the conversation his 'weapon' had with the twins, nor saw the glare said 'weapon' was giving him.

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The last few days before the holidays went by somewhat uneventfully; that is if you leave out George and Fred staying true to their word and getting detention with Neville for detonating a toilet as the younger Gryffindor's first prank.

One that Draco's self-proclaimed girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson was using when it went off. Harry suggested they christen it 'The Bidet from Hell"

"I know Gran'll probably roast me alive, but that was funny as hell!" Neville snickered. Hanging around the twins seemed to have done wonders for the boy, though he still cringed somewhat around Snape. Of course, now he'd send the occasional rude hand gesture at the potions teacher when he wasn't looking.

It wasn't long before the Hogwarts Express was back at Platform 9 3/4. Harry climbed off with Hermione; Harry making a pointed effort to get through the portal before Molly Weasley spotted him.

On the other side of the portal, Sirius and the Grangers watched as the two made their way to him.

Hermionie quickly ran over to her parents while Sirius raised an eye at Harry.

"Don't even go there." Harry muttered, holding up a warning finger at the ex-convict, "Hermione told me her parents wanted to know if I'd like to go to their place for Christmas. I suggested they come over to ours. At least that way, Mom and Dad'll get to talk to them after all this time."

After Harry made sure the Grangers wouldn't be able to ear, Sirius responded, "Don't see why not. Lily's been having a fit since that letter you sent. Guess she wasn't expecting Snape to be like that."

"Trying to punish me for what you guys did before I was even conceivedautomatically makes him a dickhead in my book. That and thinking he could nail my mom after me and Dad were gone; the snarly ponce.." Harry said before the Grangers came over.

"Harry.." Hermione said, standing between her parents and them, "These are my parents, Daniel and Emelia. Mum, Dad, this is Har..."

Before she could finish, Harry found himself wrapped up in a hug that would have made Molly jealous.

"Thank you! Hermione told us about the troll, thank you for saving my baby..!" Emelia said, holding him as high as she could

"N-no problem...just helping a friend out.." He gasped, "A little air, please?"

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This probably won't be one of my better chapters; ended up writing it on the fly. So I fail to see the reason for anyone to tell me so.

Note: Got the idea for the mail from one of Seel'vor's fics. Hope you don't mind me borrowing the idea.

Sneak peek of a future chapter

"And I thought Lestrange was a creepy broad.." Harry shuddered to himself as he spied Ginny Weasley stare at him from around the corner before darting behind it. Forcing back another shudder, he headed back to the Ravenclaw common room. As he reached the steps to the entrance, he noticed a girl with silver-blond hair sticking up a notice on the nearby wall.

_"'Missing: Luna Lovegood's things '" _He frowned as he read the top portion, _The Ravenclaw girls and I are gonna have to have a little chat." _He thought, before taking notice that said girl was standing on tip-toe, "_Merlin, was I that tiny back then?"_ Shrugging, he decided the only course of action was to do the proper thing and walked over, "Need a hand?"

"That's ok I..." The familiar serene, almost dreamy tone of Luna's voice spoke out as she turned around, only to freeze when she face him, silver- grey eyes meeting green.

"Hi."

"Harry..." She whispered, making him forget his next words.

"Uh..w-well..yeah.." Before he could continue, his word was suddenly thrown for a loop as, without warning, the small grirl jumped towards him, throwing her arms around his neck.

_"Holy mufflekluff!" _Was all he could he think as he felt her mouth overlap his, "_What the hell is she doing?! We just met...wow, I never knew her lips were this soft...gah! I'm not even in puberty yet! I..is-is that her tongue?"_

I'll leave you to figure it out, hehe.


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: Confucius say never tickle sleeping dragon, no matter how much fun Hagrid says it is.**

Speech

_Thought_

_æParsel_æ

**sandybeach6th**: Don't worry, Hermione's still in; Luna's just the one that gets the first serious kiss.

**Fallen-Ryu:** Might I reccomend a 5-iron? And remember to follow through.

Think I've finally got the harem straighted out. Slytherin: FemBlaise.. Hufflepuff: Susan Bones. Ravenclaw: Padma Patil and Luna. (I guess 3 considering Hermione's in the same house in this fic.)

If enough want, I might..just might, add Tonks later on. I know lotta people like canon Tonks/Lupin, but to be honest, that duo seems better like an uncle/niece sort to me.

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"There she is, home sweet hone; Casa de Potter." Harry said as they all climbed out of the magically expanded cab of Sirius' car. He still couldn't believe the man would go and buy a Delorean just because he saw one in 'Back to The Future'.

Hermione's jawdrop was amost audiable, "THIS is your house?? It's huge!"

"A little, but it's home."

As soon as the door opened, they were met with a loud squeal. Hermione yelped when a large blur suddenly came sailing out and landed right on her schoolmate, sending him to the ground. She looked to see a girl, possibly in her late teens, dressed in denim pants and a Twisted Sister t-shirt and sporting bubblegum-pink hair.

"Wotcher, Harry!" The girl said happily.

"Hi, Tonks." Sirius strained to keep from laughing, "Guys, say hi to Nymphadora Tonks, my cousin."

"Oi! You know how I feel about my first name." She said, her brain not quite registering the slightly compromising position the two were in until the man couldn't contain it any more and was soon joining his godson on the ground in a cackling heap.

After a a few embarassed squeaks and a quick scramble to get up, Tonks introduced herself and they all headed in.

"She's always had kinda a soft spot for Harry." Sirius whispered to the Grangers, missing the look on Hermione's face that almost seemed like a hint of jealousy.

Dan whistled through his teeth upon entry, "I could learn to like living in a place like this." The inside of the place looked more like a bachelor's pad, though there were a few antiques here and there. The man quickly let out an 'Ooh!' when he saw a 'Street Fighter 2' cabnet against the wall.

"And over there is Remus Lupin, an old friend. Oi! Wake up, ya old hounddog!" Sirius called out as he flung a nearby magazine at a man sleeping on the couch, his face covered by a newspaper.

"Leotards!" He yelled, sitting up in a half-awake stupor, causing the others to bust out laughing.

"Mom, Dad, I'm home!" Harry called up to a pair of portraits on the wall, which had sleeping peeople in both of them.

"*yawn* Hey, sweetie, how's Hogwarts so far?" Lily called out from the painting, elbowing her husband. It was then she saw the others, "Dan? Emelia?" She let out a laugh, "I haven't seen you guys in years!"

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After they were introduced to Kippie, who quickly took their bags to a couple of the guest bedrooms, it wasn't long before Harry and Hermione's parents were catching up on old times. While that was happening, he took her on a quick tour of the place.

"Upstairs is prety much just bed and bathrooms. But this...this you gotta check out." He led her down a set of stairs off the kitchen to a heavily locked door. While he fought with the lock, Hermione found herself wondering something.

"Harry, doesn't it seem a little risky having a place like this without protection? I mean, all this..plus the fact you're..well, you know.."

He chuckled, "There's protection, just not what the Ministry would think of. A few days after I came here, Sirius and I had the place shut off from the Floo Network so we wouldn't get any any nosey intruders. This place is also Unplotable and has a Nosferium ward."

"A what?" He could literally feel her already wanting to read up on it.

"You know how vampires can't enter a house without being invited?" He waited until she responded, her nod giving a quick nod, "Well, the Nosferium Ward is based on that. The house was willed to me so I pretty much have to give the ok. If I hadn't invited you and your parents, the three of you could have walked right past the house and seen little more than the woods and a big rock. Besides, if someone I had invited tried to take advantage, they'd have to deal with a house elf that's learned Kickboxing."

"Wait..what? Kickboxing??"

He pulled back the sleeve of his shirt and flexed it, chuckling briefly at her reaction before finally getting the lock off, "Sirius and I started up on it about four years ago, mainly as a way to get in shape. After a bit, I suggested it could probably do Kippie some good. She's a fast learner, too. An elf that can knock out a full-grown man without magic is nothing to sneeze at." He pushed the door opened and stepped aside, "Ladies first?"

Hermione stepped in, blinking a bit as braziers on the walls suddenly lit up. Inside were shelves and bookcases crammed with tomes and scrolls. She could keep from letting a squeak escape her lips. Some of the books looked several hundred years old.

"Now, where is it..?" Harry muttered as he looked over some of the cases.

"H-Harry, Where..where'd you get these?!" She half-whispered.

"These were already here when I inherited the house. There's a few here I don't even think Dumbledore knows exists." He pried a dusty blue book off one of the lower shelves, " Here we go; '_The Physics of Magic'" _He said, handing it to her, "I've looked through it a bit, but I have a feeling you'd understand it a lot better than I ever would."

Her eyes widened as it settled in her hands, "Y-you're just giving it..? Harry, this is an original printing!" She whispered/squeaked, looking at the print date on the cover

"Consider it an early Christmas present." He shrugged, "Better it's with someone that'd put it to use instead of collecting dust down here; and I figured you'd.." He was cut off by a flying tackle-hug, courtesy of the bushy haired girl.

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Dumbledore was beside himself as the image of Molly Weasley faded from his office fireplace; Harry was not at the the Burrow, they weren't even able to find him. All because of those two pranker sons of hers. This shouldn't be bloody happening! He was the adult, the one that knew better, the unquestionable authority; while Harry was just a simple little boy. A boy that was proving to be an unnecessary handfull, "Doesn't he know this would all be easier if he would just step in bloody line?!"

"You think he'll ever learn?" S.H. asked Fawkes while they watched him have his fit.

The phoenix shook his head, letting loose a few dull notes towards the man that could be loosely translated as "Bloody twit..."

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the next update'll be a while, gonna try to get the next couple of chapters in one go so I can start getting to the good part of the 1st year.


	18. Chapter 18

**Tea for two and two for tea...I'll just have a beer.**

Speech

_Thought_

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Interlude:

Harry glanced over as he watched the slow fall from the night sky. Outside, with the exception of the occasional wind whistle, it was dead quiet. Inside, only the crackle of the fire provided any sound. At least, it was quiet until the sound of steps creaking drew his attention. A momentary stumble and whispered ''bloody steps'' was all he needed to tell who it was.

"I figured you'd be asleep by now, Nym." He said over his shoulder. His parents reminded him that before the whole mess with Riddle started, the Tonks' had visited fairly often and the metamorph had been close to him. That was mainly the reason she insisted he call her by the nickname. Of course, Sirius learned quickly, thanks to an unfortunately accurate stinging hex, that only Harry had that privlige.

"Just getting a midnight snack." Came the reply, "Though I could ask you the same thing."

"Contemplating a few things." He turned around, deciding a bite to eat couldn't hurt.

A few minutes later, the two were sitting at the kitchen table fixing up a couple sandwiches each. While Tonks was digging in, he had gone back to what he was thinking of earlier; his plans to deal with Riddle and, if need be, Dumbledore.

His first task would be retrieving the Philosipher's Stone from the mirror and returning it to Flamel. Considering the lies the old man had spewed out last time, he wasn't sure if the owner had parted with it willingly or if it was ever really destroyed either. Hell, for all he knew, the one Quirrell had died over could very well have been a fake Flamel made, but he had no intention of taking chances.

As for the man himself, he was already little better than a walking corpse due to his possession by Riddle.

Harry intended to make him a real one well before Dumbledore could set up his little _test._

"Harry? You ok?" Tonks' voice drew him out of his thoughts.

"Huh? Yeah, I'm all right, just a lot of planning to get done before I head back." He had to bite back a snicker when he remembered her reaction when he decided to let her in on things. At first she thought he was on something when he said he had come back through time until the others were able to confirm it, especially his parents. When he explained why, she begged him to let her go hurt the geezer, or at least around looking like him and ruin his reputation.

He was surprised to learn she was in her last year when he first came to Hogwarts, but figured it was expected since he didn't really associate with most of the 5th to 7ths back then. That and she was in Hufflepuff so they never really saw each other.

It didn't take much for her to guess what was on his mind, "Still working on a way to keep what happened last time from repeating?"

"Mostly. Since Sirius is already a free man, the timeline's already been altered a good deal. I'll have to keep watch for whatever changes. But until then, I'm going to make sure neither he nor Riddle get their way." He replied, "The real problem will be Dumbledore's attempts to get me back into the mold he's made for me. Considering the shit he played with Mom and Dad's will, I wouldn't be surprised."

"To be honest Harry, I'm still having a hard time believing a lot the stuff you said happened. I mean..the Weasleys, for instance. They always struck me as a pleasant family.."

"Yeah, until I learned that the twins were the only ones that weren't in the old goat's back pocket...or little shits like their two youngest." He shook his head as he remembered their true colors, "I'm just glad I'm in a different house this time, otherwise I'd have to deal with Ginevia every time we were out of class next year." A chuckle escaped his lips, "At least this time I have an edge, aside from people I know without a doubt I can trust."

"What would that be?"

"Unlike them, I'm not crazy enough to believe I'm invincible."

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This is mainly just a little filler to help me get the ball rolling again on my older stories.

Not much in the way of plot, but like it says at the top, it's pretty much just an in-between thing, not quite a filler chapter.


	19. Chapter 19

**Ever wonder what would've been different if Dumbles had gotten off his arse and actually helped Harry in the first place? (no fair just saying 'everything')**

Just so you know after this chapter, I'm gonna try to speed things up some. Considering how long this story's run so far, (just for Year one) I may make it into a series sorta, like I've seen a few others do.

Speech

_Thought_

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The remainder of the holidays passed by smoothly and it wasn't long before they were all climbing back aboard the Hogwarts Express for the second term. Harry made sure Hedwig's cage was secure before hoisting up his footlocker and keeping an eye out for any unwanted encounters; namely Molly and Arthur Weasley. It wasn't hard to spot the woman along with the rest of the redheads and use the box to hide his face. He had to fight back a shudder at how Ginny was darting her head around, making comments about spotting 'her future husband'. Her mother wasn't helping the matter with her craning around.

_"Sorry, Weasley's, but you won't be spotting me today." _He thought, finally reaching one of the train cars and hopping aboard. A sigh of relief followed before the locker went up in a storage area.

What no one knew was his invisibility cloak was inside; over the holidays he had asked Kippie to get it. Too bad the majority of wizarding Britain never bothered to realize that the majority of known wards weren't exactly house elf-proof. It took a bit of sneaking around, but she was able to lift it from its hiding place under Dumble's bed. Luckily he was too annoyed at learning Harry hadn't gone with the redheads like he wanted to to think about that happening. It took a bit of effort but they were able to remove the trackers and that damnned charm the aging meddler had put on it to let his glasses see through the cloak. Let the man try and wrap his mind around that for a while!

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As the train pulled away, Sirius and Remus said their good-byes to the Grangers and headed back to the car.

"We all set?" Remus shot his fellow Marauder a glance once they got back to the car.

"Yeah, heh..I've been itching for the chance to do this. Time to give 'dear' Trixie and 'Mummy' the proverbial boot up the ass." Sirius chuckled, "Harry said he was going to deal with that one once Snake-Man was outta the castle."

Remus nodded, "First off Gringotts'?"

"Definitely." The man couldn't hold back the cackle, "I can hardly wait to see my mothers face when she finds out!"

A few minutes of driving, and a quick shrinking charm on the DeLorean later in a back alley and they were soon passing through the entrance to Diagon Ally. Once they entered the bank, Sirius made his way to one of the goblins, "I'd like to speak to Warpnail"

He nodded and led them to a grizzled-looking goblin with a leather mask covering the left side of his face and head.

The goblin raised his remaining eye towards the two men, "Well, Sirius Black, I've been wondering when we'd meet again."

"It has been a while, hasn't it, Warpnail." Sirirs took a deep breath before continuing, "I've decided it's time I took over as head of the Black family."

"Very well. If you'll follow me then." While Remus waited, he led Sirius over to a room containing a pedestal with a small box on top. Beside it sat a gem-inlaid dagger, "I take it you're aware of the necessary procedure." He said, passing the man the knife.

Sirius nodded, set his jaw, and use the dagger to cut his palm. He quickly placed the bleeding wound onto the box, letting the liquid coat the top. As soon as it did, the box glowed slightly and absorbed the blood before a click was heard.

Warpnail nodded, taking a moment to heal the cut, and lifted the top off to expose a gold and onyx ring with the Black family crest on it, "Now the moment of truth, to coin a muggle phrase."

The ring seemed to let off a faint glow of its own as it was slipped onto Sirius' finger before resizing itself to fit.

"Well, congratulations, Sirius..I mean, Lord Black." Warpnail commented.

"This is going to take some getting used to." He said, looking the ring over before turning his attention back to his family's account manager. It was time for his first offical act as the new head, "As Lord Black, I have decided Bellatrix Lestrange nee Black has shamed this family. I hearby dissolve her marriage!" The ring flashed as he made the decree. He knew the psychotic bitch would be annoyed at most, but his next move would really piss her off, "Warpnail, it's come to my attention that your bank is being used to house a houcrux."

The moment that word passed his lips, the normally calm goblin's demenor shifted a full 180, "WHAT?! Who would DARE to put one of those _things_in our vaults!?" That was one of the main reasons goblins had trouble liking wizards in general. To them, making a horcrux was one of the most vile and cowardly acts possible. It was considered an insult, and highly suicidal, to bring one into a goblin's presence.

"I've learned it's in Bellatrix's vault, a cup. I know the goblin nation has methods to destroy items like that, so I think it would be prudent to allow you to handle it's removal. The rest of the vault's contents should suffice as a fee for the act and to cover any fines called for." No sooner did Sirius finish than Warpnail was already having a message sent out for a disposal crew. He fought hard against the grin that threatened to split his face. Goblins might not be sunshine and gumdrops, but they were notoriously efficient; before the day was out, everything in her vault would either be destroyed or confiscated. It was almost poetic in a way.

To put the last nail in the coffin, he finished by offically casting her out of the family, reducing her to Bellatrix 'No Name'. One of the worst things you could do to a pureblood. He could almost picture her reaction when she got word of what happened.

"Another down?" Remus took note of the ring on Sirius' hand when he came out of the room.

"Yep." He waited until they made their way back out of the Leaky Cauldron and got the car out before continuing, "That leaves what...the book, circlet, and that ring, right?"

"And that snake. Though that hasn't happened yet, so we need to keep an eye out after this year." Remus shook his head at how pretentious Dumbledore was at deciding Voldemort was Harry's responsibility, still finding it hard to believe the old coot relied so much on a damn prophecy, "So, how do you want to deal with your mom and that little psycho Kreacher?"

The grin his friend showed was somewhat disconcerting, "How good are you at fire wards?"

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I apologize for how long it took to get this. I got caught up playing Champions Online.


	20. Chapter 20

**I'm not J.. (can't think of anything witty this time, sadly)**

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Number 12 Grimmauld Place, an address Sirius had more than once hoped he'd never have to return to. The home of some of the most bigoted people he ever knew outside the Malfoys and Voldemort himself. He had disagreed with his parents on multiple things, but their obsession with blood purity and hatred for anything less was the primary reason for his running away

His only comfort was the fact that tonight would be the final time he ever saw the wretched place.

"You ready for this, Pad?" Remus set a hand on his friend's shoulder, giving him a concerned look.

The man shook the thoughts from his head, "Yeah, just feels like I'm finally reaching the end of a really bad dream, you know? I know it's about to be over, but it's still hard to believe. Kinda surreal when you think about it."

Remus grinned briefly, "Come on, sooner we start, the sooner you'll be able to put your back to this place."

"Right." The two Marauders marched their way to the front door, the family ring immediately granting Sirius entry. He authorized Remus's access and they strode in, getting a rather unwelcome greeting from the portrait of his mother.

"HOW DARE YOU ENTER THIS HOUSE!? BLOOD TRAITOR! FILTHY HALF-BREED!!" The woman screeched, her eyes bulging out wildly.

.

"Nice to meet you to, 'Mother'." Sirius muttered sarcastically, ignoring the scrawny little house elf that appeared, glaring at him hatefully. "Would you like to do the honors, Mooney?"

"With pleasure." Remus gave the portrait his best evil grin before heading back out to the car.

Meanwhile, Sirius decided to have a little fun of his own. With a grin of his own, he held up his ring finger for the her to see.

Old Lady Black's eyes looked as if they were about to leave their sockets when she screamed, "WHERE DID YOU GET THAT!? HOW DARE YOU SULLY THE FAMILY RING!"

"Oh shut up, you wrinkled bint!" He muttered, "Not my fault you and Dad were two stupid to make my disowning official. Then again, thinking ahead was never your strong suit. But don't worry, after tonight, I'll never step foot inside in this dump again." He had to fight back his grin when Remus returned, carrying a pair of gasoline cans.

Full cans, if the sloshing noise coming from them was

"Then again, this place will be a pile of ashes come dawn."

"WHAT!? YOU MISBEGOTTEN.....KREATCHER! GET RID OF THIS FILTH!" She screamed.

"You'll do nothing, Kreatcher! As the new head of the house, you listen to me, got it!?" Sirius glared at the elf.

Kreatcher made a few shrieks of rebellion before his magic made him give in, "Yes...Master Black.." He said through gritted teeth.

Ignoring the shrieks from the paining, Remus took a minute to salvage any books that might be useful while Sirius was a mix of giggling and singing the bawdiest drinking tune he knew as he poured the gas over everything he could get to, even his mom got splashed..

Once they were done, Sirius took some out of his pocket and looked the elf dead in the eye, "Kreatcher! Consider this your final order by the head of the Black family: you are to forget this day ever happened, you will tell NOBODY, living, dead, or painting, that we've been here. In fact, you are to forget the Blacks ever even existed. Understand?" He waited until the house elf's expression suddenly slacken and take on a blank look as the order took effect before tossing the item at him, an old t-shirt of his.

The elf flailed for a second before looking around, "Hello, I is Kreatcher..who's you?"

"No one you really need to worry about. Though I'd suggest you make yourself scarce; this place has been deemed unfit for habitation and we're about to bring it down." Since this Kreatcher was now a blank slate, more of less, he figured he'd be better off finding a new family. He sent him off on his way and went outside to throw up fire wards on the neighboring houses and a silencing and reinforced the notice-me-not charm up on No.12 so the burning wouldn't attract attention.

"I ORDER YOU TO PUT THOSE BACK, YOU WRETCHED MONGREL! AND YOU!" Lady Black pointed a gnarled finger at Sirius as he came back in, "HOW DARE YOU GET RID OF MY HOUSE ELF!"

Remus simply rolled his eyes at her as he tore off a piece of the curtains to pick the locket up with, tossing it onto a nearby recliner and dousing it with the remaining gas, "Pad, when you start it up, could you aim for her first?"

"By all means, Moony." The grin on his face turned downright feral. By then then Remus had already gone back to the car with what they were keeping and was waiting for the fireworks.

"You..you wouldn't dare!" Lady Black said as her son leveled his wand at her.

"Good-bye, _mother._ INCENDIO!" The bright orange spell struck the painting square in the face, causing her to let out a scream that was halted almost as quickly when the accelerant ignited and took the picture, frame and all.

Sirius took that moment to make his way out, the fire spreading behind him and a satisfied smile on his face.

"Better than therapy, huh Pad?" Remus asked as his friend came out of the building. The two watched it slowly become engulfed in flames.

It took a while, but the combination of fire and heat, mostly fueled buy the magical items combusting and sometimes even detonating, proved to be too much for the gold of the locket. With it, a sickly green mist rose and let out a high-pitched scream before the flames took it as well.

By morning, all that would be left of the Black family home would be a few smoldering timbers and ashes.

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Meanwhile, the Hogwarts Express was almost to its destination. Hermione had spent most of her time enthralled with the book Harry gave her so she remained somewhat quiet. Neville had stayed to chat a while before searching for the twins to plan their next pranks. He had said his grandmother was glad he was coming out of his shell but had a fit when she found out about the toilet.

Thankfully there had been few interruptions, outside of another attempt by Ron to insert himself into Harry's social circle, and Malfoy trying to goad them and threats of retribution by his father for the beating he had previously gotten. That one earned him a silencing and sticking charm to Goyle's armpit.

In the end, the two were left alone with the sound of pages turning breaking the silence.

_"I'm going to have to be careful for a while." _Harry thought as he looked out the window, _"Dumbledore's probably going to demand to know why I didn't go to the Weasleys; doesn't surprise me if he tries to throw his title around to get me to fall in line. Thankfully I have a little surprise in store for him. Real challenge will be picking the right time to deal with Quirrell. Maybe I can make it look like something scared him bad enough to make him leave the castle. Plus, whether or not that stone in the mirror or real, I'm sending it back to Flamel."_

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I meant the bit on the train to be a little bet, but unfortunately I ended up running out of steam for it._  
_


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